91 Thoughts All Girls Have at the Gym | The Odyssey Online
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91 Thoughts All Girls Have at the Gym

Don't pretend you don't think 'em too.

Julia DeVincenzo
May 31, 2016
Texas Christian University
11
91 Thoughts All Girls Have at the Gym

1.

51. My socks are giving me blisters.

52. I need those fancy padded socks that cost more than my textbooks.

53. If I don't make it through a full 45 minutes on this machine, it's definitely because of the socks.

54. Okay, I'm panting by minute 31.

55. Cardiac arrest by minute 33.

56. Breathe. Breathe.

57. This is literally the longest 10 minutes of my entire existence.

58. I have no confidence I will ever be able to give birth if I can't even make it 45 minutes on the elliptical. Sorry, Mom. No grandchildren for you.

59. Do you think the hot workout girls next to me can hear my breathing over their music?

60. Probably.

61. Classic.

62. Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact.

63. WHY ARE YOU SMILING, HOT WORKOUT GIRL? Are my pit stains and inability to run farther than 3 miles that funny to you?

64. Five.

65. More.

66. Minutes.

67. This sweat is literally stinging my eyeballs.

68. I bet I look good though.The sweaty girls in work out commercials always look primal and sexy and fit.

69. *casually checks mirror next to machines*

70. *sees face the color of a papaya coated in mascara*

71. Ugh. Whatever. They're all photo shopped anyway.

72. One.

73. More.

74. Minute.

75. I'm gonna sprint it…..

76. OH MY GOD, I'VE NEVER RAN THIS FAST BEFORE.

77. DON'T STOP NOW.

78. 30 SECONDS.

79. I AM AN OLYMPIAN.

80. Whew.

81. Ok, elliptical done.

82. Quickly figure out how to gracefully stop this machine.

83. Play it cool. Play it cool.

84. SOS GET ME OFF THIS MONSTER.

85. Oh right. Big red button in the center.

86. Good job. You deserve cheese fries for making it through that hell.

87. Play it cool while you look for those machine wipey things.

88. I really went all in tonight.

89. I should rest up my muscles for the rest of the week.

90. *triumphantly tweets about going to the gym*

91. Good thing I drove.


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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