When I was 17 years old, I left my country, my family, and everything I knew to live one year abroad. What was supposed to be a school year turned into a lifetime because young love makes you do incredible things.
It didn't take us but a week to fall for each other, and breaking up soon became everything but an option. After nine months of butterflies, the fatal day came... June 12th, 2013. We both remember it like it was yesterday. We were two teenagers in love and crying in an airport terminal. We were so shaken that we swapped his security ticket—that was given to him for the sole purpose of crying with me longer—and my plane ticket. After a huge freak out/cry moment with the hostess, I boarded the plane that would take me away from the only love I ever knew.
I have spent a total of 14 months away from the guy I loved, and it sucked, but we made it. So, if this is your story too, here are a few tips on how to make it out together.
1. Start on a solid foundation.
Dating for three weeks is cute and all, but you will need more than that to start a solid long distance relationship. Depending on the extent of the long distance, you may not be able to visit often, so you will need a strong relationship to keep building on to it.
2. Have a plan!
I cannot stress that one enough. I'm not saying you have to get engaged in DFW right there on the spot, but if you plan on going through a long distance relationship with a special someone, chances are you like the idea of spending your forever with them. If not, you might want to reconsider your life choices. Don't be afraid of talking about the future because it is one of the only things you can hold on to.
3. Do not listen to what other people say.
Haters are going to hate, y'all! People are going to give you statistics and talk to you about their mother’s best friend’s sister’s daughter whose long distance boyfriend dumped over the phone. Newsflash: Stories of failed long distance relationships are all over the internet, but you have to focus on the – let’s face it – slim chance that you might be one of the lucky ones. Remember that you are the only one who decides rather or not you are one of the lucky ones. It’s about how much you want to fight for this love. We’re gonna fight, fight, fight, fight for this love… Okay, I’ll stop.
4. Stay focused on your goal.
Make a calendar, give yourself a reward for every day that passes, count down the days... It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you stay positive and remember that every hour that passes brings you closer to him (or her).
5. Stay busy.
Staying alone to talk to him when everyone was out having fun has to be my biggest regret. It is important to set time apart to communicate with your significant other but, it is also very important for you to go on with your life until you’re reunited. You cannot spend all your time depressed and alone (like I did) because it will kill your vibe, and your significant other will dread talking to you. That does not mean that you can’t ever have your lows, but try not to be constantly sad.
6. Call and text often.
Trying to figure out some time to speak to each other was a real challenge. Most couples Skype or Facetime. We simply didn’t have the time (or the internet connection) to do it. We messaged a lot on Facebook and called each other whenever possible. Those phone calls were usually the highlight of the week, and they helped to cheer us up.
7. Communicate your feelings.
“If you still love me, don’t just assume I know.”
Yes, it's from “Remind me” by Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley. I spent the entire summer of 2013 listening to that song bawling on the beach… but, that’s beside the point. Chances are you are going to be away from each other for days, weeks, maybe months, and your only mean of communication will be through the phone. When you are apart, words of affirmation are the only thing you have, so don’t keep it all to yourself.
8. Have someone you can talk to other than your significant other.
My best friend listened to numerous rants about how he was so insensitive and blah, blah, blah. Being in a long distance relationship can be frustrating for both parties, so you need to have someone to rant to other than your so because when you only get to talk 30 minutes a week, you don’t want to fight.
9. Visit each other often
I have probably dropped close to $3,000 worth of plane tickets between November of 2013 and April 2014, and they are the best $3,000 I have ever spent in my life. I could be homeless tomorrow – dramatic, I know – and I still wouldn’t exchange that time for anything in the world; it was worth every penny.
On November 14th, 2015, I married my long distance boyfriend who had since then become my fiancé. The last words of his vows to me were "I'm glad I didn't have to invite my best friend to my wedding." I'm so glad we stuck together through it all because it was so worth it. As it did for me, I hope these tips will help you to carry on and make your love triumph.
