1. There are two types of Catholics on Sundays in Lent.
These people:
*Garbled mouth full of food* "Sundays don't count".
Aaaand the rest of us:
Seriously? Cheat days? You can't commit to 40 days without potato chips? No wonder this society is in the gutter. Remember that Jesus guy? 40 days and nights without FOOD or WATER...like, in a desert? I'm just asking for a little effort and self-restraint here, people.
2. Becoming annoyingly popular on Ash Wednesday...and loving every minute of it.
Oh, this old thing? It's just the remnants of every sinful act, thought, and word I've ever entertained, and a physical reminder of how my behavior pulls me from God. NBD.
3. Having friends over on the weekend...and preparing them for Mass.
Okay, so we kneel here and stand for this and sit for a few minutes while Fr. Phil says this stuff, then we kneel-stand-kneel-stand and don't forget to bless yourself and genuflect here, here, aaaand here.
*Friend's head explodes*
Yeah...I was afraid of that.
4. Being famous for a day during Children's Mass.
Wait a minute, our names are in the bulletin? I repeat: our names are in the bulletin?!
5. Basking in the glow of your Confirmation...while also wondering if St. Jane Frances de Chantal was really a great choice.
Not because you're unhappy with the decision, but because every single time someone asks which Saint you chose, you kinda feel like Esteban on The Suite Life of Zach and Cody.
6. Accidentally agreeing to lead the Rosary before Mass.
All I can remember is...fine dining...and breathing...
7. People think Catholic Guilt is a joke, but you know otherwise.
When something as small as not holding the door open for someone sends you spiraling into a dark, bottomless pit of sadness and guilt - multiplied by 10,0000000 when you actually do something wrong.
8. Going to church with friends and just like...what?
Why is everyone walking around and socializing when a simple handshake and Sign of Peace will do? Since when does just any old Joe Shmoe in the congregation get to stand up and give announcements? And what in the world is that mumbo-jumbo after the Our Father? Some people just don't know when to quit, amIright? So. Many. Questions. But hey...I guess that's what people think when they come to our services, too.
9. *Eye roll*. "No, I do not worship statues."
But I would consider worshiping my profits if I had a dollar for every time someone asked/assumed/accused me of such. (God, if you're reading this, I'm totally kidding though.)
So, whether you're practicing today or have grown away from the Church over the years, there are some experiences that just bond people for life. At the top of that list? Being raised Catholic.
What are some Catholic experiences you love to hate (or hate to admit you love)? Share in the comments below!
