1. The Humidity and Heat
Humidity and heat make me feel like I have walked into a huge, sweltering oven when I go outside for even five seconds to take the garbage out. Feeling like this isn't fun. When I go outside, I want to feel refreshed, not as if a force of heat and suffering has washed over me and is trying to hold me down onto the ground, alright? Also do you know what humidity brings with it? Sweat. Lots of sweat.
2. Sweat
Sweat. Sweaty clothes, sweaty hair, sweaty everywhere and in between. If I wanted to feel damp all the time and smell I would just go to the pool, because at least then I would feel cool instead of feeling like I'm dying under the blazing, evil sun.
3. Bugs
Specifically, stink bugs. In the past few years we have seen an invasion of stink bugs like no other, and even though some people believe they aren't a problem, this is a bold faced lie. I don't care what they say, the stink bug invasion is still happening in Pittsburgh and I am sick of them dive-bombing me because they decided to make camp in my house to stay out of the sun.
4. Sunburns
Imagine: you have been outside in the heat too long and you feel as if you are being cooked. When you return indoors, it turns out you have fried. You have developed a sunburn. Your skin has turned red and is giving you the appearance of an overcooked tomato. Other times it begins to peel, and you develop the urge to scratch off all of your skin and you never go outside again.
5. The Pool
The pool is a place where one believes they can go and cool off on a hot day, but unless you have a private pool, you end up at a crowded, somehow-hotter-than-the rest-of-town public pool, where the only fun is the fun the germs are having spreading from person to person. Think: several people crowded into one germ filled pool of misery, people swimming in this germ pool, jumping into this germ pool, not washing themselves off after cooling off in this germ pool... You'd be better off staying inside watching movies about summer on Netflix, drinking a gallon of water, not worrying about where you step and who you have come in contact with.
6. Summer Colds
Summer colds somehow feel even worse than a cold any other time of year. You want to bundle up in blankets and hide within them, but unless your air conditioner actually works and it doesn't just spit hot air straight back in your face, you can't do any of that. You are left to lay there on your couch in sorrow, using up boxes of tissues for your nose as well as the rest of your body for the sweat you're producing due to the heat and your fever.
7. Food Melting
Sometimes a cooler can't even save you from your food melting in the hot sun. Ice cream becomes soup; chocolate becomes sticky, sweet goop that clings to the wrapper that creates a mess; and you? You become sad. Very, very sad.
8. Fall Items are Being Sold Anyway
Places such as K-Mart and Home Depot have had Autumn and Halloween items in stock since August (that's right, August) and cafés have already stocked up on pumpkin spice everything. They don't wait for autumn to actually start before force-feeding the public pumpkin spice cinnamon latte muffins, so we may as well start celebrating the season early.
9. Autumn is Magical
Sweaters, changing leaves, Halloween, and cool temperatures--autumn is a wonderful time of year and indicative of change. While we can't change how long a season drags out (and summer has dragged out for far too long) we have all the wonderful moments autumn will bring to look forward to as we sit inside in front of the television, remaining sunburn free and sweating the minimal amount.
