In October of 2014, after ending an almost four year relationship, I met my husband at a mutual friend’s house. I was single and ready to mingle. I never knew I would meet someone so soon or so amazing.

He seemed nice, but I was still wary. A week after our initial meeting, he messaged me on Facebook and a few days later, I asked him for a ride somewhere. Instead of dropping me off, he invited me to the event I was attending and he talked to me all night. He shared so much with me. That’s when I started falling in love.

We just sort of fell into our relationship. As we peeled back layers of each other, I was so sure it would end soon. Instead, we just fell more and more in love. In fact, we just celebrated our one year wedding anniversary. And I have learned so much in this past year.

1. Don’t judge people from first impressions.

Whether I realized it or not, I used to judge people harshly. I was one of those people who sincerely thought first impressions meant everything. I watched him interact with people and saw how he didn’t get upset when people were rude and nasty. He doesn’t take things personally. He pointed out to me that you never know what someone is going through and making them act this way.

2. You can’t take life so seriously.

He has taught me to have fun. I have always been a very meticulous person. I have a routine, I have my lists and I get anxious very easily. He’s slowly taught me that it’s OK if things don’t go as planned. He’s such a spontaneous, open to almost anything type person. That mentality has rubbed off on me just as my organized mentality has rubbed off on him. We have slowly, but surely balanced each other out.

3. Treat everything in life as a chance to meditate.

I will be the first one to groan and whine about having to do mundane tasks such as cleaning or other adult responsibilities. My other half shows me that this can all be used as a form of meditation. The next time you’re washing dishes do everything carefully and deliberately. Watch yourself as you circle around the plate with the soapy sponge. Do it wholly. It feels nice to take what others see as a boring task and walk away fulfilled from it.

4. It’s OK to mess up.

I know this seems like a given but for me it wasn’t. I lived my whole life trying to live up to expectations others and I had set for me. I learned and am still learning that I can’t keep going on being hard on myself. All I can do is my best.

5. Live life with no expectations.

This was a biggest lesson I needed to learn. Living life with expectation will set you up for disappointment. Of course life does not pan out exactly how we want! And that’s totally okay. My hubby has shown me to live with the flow and what is supposed to happen will happen.

6. You can’t blame others for problems.

This was something I never really thought about until I met my husband. He was totally right. I can’t blame others for how I feel or what is happening in my life. If something is going wrong, then I had to learn it was my own doing in the end and I had the power to change it. And whenever I felt hurt or sad, it was my fault. Meaning that I have control over my feelings and I don’t have to let someone’s hurtful words ruin my day.

7. Help others every chance you get.

You name it, he’s given it away. I’ve watched my husband give the shirt off his back and the hate off his head to friends and strangers alike. He will give money to whoever may ask and give rides to those he sees struggling. He’s an amazing person to watch. I always feel so blessed to have him in my life when I see him going out of his way to help his fellow man.

8. Don’t let society dictate your relationship.

I went from a very stereotypical relationship to a very unconventional one once I met my husband. It was a bumpy road for him to wait until I understood where he was coming from. I’m so happy I met him because now I feel so free and happier than I ever have in a relationship. You don’t have to be this monogamous, perfect, follow-all-the-rules type of couple to be in love forever and ever. As long as the two of you find a common ground and respect each other, it doesn’t matter what this or that couple is doing. This is your relationship and don’t let someone tell you, “You can’t do that,” or, “This isn’t a real relationship,” just because you don’t follow society’s standards.

9. Don’t be afraid to be yourself.

I used to get hurt so much growing up from being myself that I started to pretend to be someone I’m not just to survive. Over the past two years, I have slowly learned to be myself again. My husband encourages it every chance he can. He reminds me that I am a caring, kind, open-minded person with a big heart, which the world needs more of. So I try to live every day being those things to the fullest.