After spending years at Clark, I'm sure we've all shared in the same struggles - and by struggles I don't mean with "challenging convention". I mean in the every day experiences, that make you question "what is up with Clark, man". I mean no other campus worships a statue of a highly-criticized psychologist - and I don't think it's because we're the only United States college he visited.

1. Why does the Caf close at 8 and swaps stop at 9pm? And why do we only have 5 guest swipes?

2. Who designed the Bistro??

I mean, have you tried walking through there during lunch rush?

3. Why can't we use the bathrooms behind the caf?

Just let me pee, dammit!

4. Why does Tammy make the best sandwiches? And Tony the best pizza? And Gino the best pasta?

If you don't know what I'm talking about, I suggest you find out.

5. How did they think they'd get away with removing the pizzarita from the Bistro late night menu?

6. Why is the chip reader in the Bistro SO SLOW

7. Why do the bathrooms by the UC always smell bad?

8. Why is there always a line for the mail room?!

9. How come no one understands the concept of a quiet floor in the library?

10. Why is the library so full during finals?

Where did you all come from? And where have you been all semester?

11. Who uses the library on the weekends?

12. Why did they change the name of Copace classes?

13. Why is Jen Plante so underappreciated?

Don't believe me, find out for yourself.

14. Why do I always run into Tobin at the gym?

15. WHAT EVEN IS LEEP?

16. Why is Wright always the party hall, JSC the Stoner hall, and Dodd full of the lesbian and international students, and Bullock for the weird/in-betweeners?

17. Why are the walls in the dorms so damn thin?

18. How come they still haven't gotten a new pool table for the JSC basement?

19. Why can't I swipe into other dorm buildings at night?

20. And why can't I swipe into any dorm buildings ever if I live off campus?

21. Why does Dodd have so many kitchens?

22. Why don't any of the fireplaces in the dorms actually work?

23. Why do we have a British president?

24. Do people actually go to president Angel's office hours?

25. Why does Clark have the sprinklers on when it's raining?

26. Why are the squirrels so damn fearless? And why are there so many of them?

27. Does anyone even believe the Red Square myth?

28. Why is there an old lobotomy chair in Jonas Clark?

29. Is the fourth floor of Jonas Clark haunted?

30. What even is BP used for now?

31. Why is Lasry so underrated?

32. What even is in the Geography Building?

33. Why is Traina so far?

34. Why does no one let me cross Main St to get to ASEC, or any street for that matter?

35. Why is our Christmas break so short?

Can't we have just like, one more week?

36. Why is Week One, not even a full week?

37. Why do the freshmen wear their lanyards for months after week one?

38. Why does Clark always cut my favorite trees down?

39. Why are we always the last school to cancel classes?!

40. Who designed the parking spots in the parking garage anyway?

41. Does the consortium even exist?

42. Why is Annie's closed on Sundays!

43. What is with the Estabrook bathrooms?

44. Why does RLH make you pour your own alcohol down the drain?

45. Why is the gym not open later?

46. Does anyone even know there's a 3rd floor to the UC?

47. You know The Den doesn't actually serve true Starbucks, right?

48. Why does the campus always smell like weed?

49. Am I the only one that liked the old logo better?

50. Is the elevator in the UC even legal?

51. What even is the building next to Bullock?

52. Where's the ivy growing on our buildings though?

What's a brick building without ivy growing on it?

53. Why do we love Freud so much?

54. Who even reads (or proofreads, for that matter) the Scarlet?

55. Why are we the only college that doesn't care about sports (or have a football team)?

Come on, sports games are fun and part of the college experience!

56. Why does no one show up to our dances?

It's just awkward.

57. Why doesn't Clark provide alcohol on Spree Day anymore?

58. How come Spree Day doesn't have real carnival rides?

59. Why is Spree Day only a day now?

It's just not fair, Spreeing used to be so much cooler.

60. Why is the craft studio so hidden? And why is it always being used by a Copace class when I want to use it?

61. Why does everyone think SASC just means anti-drugs?

It's not the same thing, I promise

62. Why is the study abroad session always theSaturday morning of Halloween weekend?

63. Why does Escort never seem to be running when I need it?

64. Dude, who's in charge of hiring the Escort drivers anyway?

Oh come on, I can't be the only one thinking it.

65. Does anyone even listen to our radio station?

Maybe the crickets and squirrels?

66. Is the swim team a cult?

67. Peapod or Shenanigans?

68. Why does RCU only ever get uncle sams pizza?

69. Why is the Socialist Alternative so aggressive?

70. Is ElephantThursday really the same without Ben Berman?

No, the answer is no.

71. Why does AKOG have to meet so early on aSaturday?

72. Why doesn't the grind have a fully stocked bar?

A girl can dream, can't she?

73. Why does no one ever buy the Stir magazines?

Read them, they're worth it!

74. Why is Choices so hidden and so far?

Sometimes you just don't have the time to walk that far, ya know?

75. Does anyone even go to the RLH events?

I'm not convinced.

76. How do the EMS workers even pass their classes?

77. Why does no one serve snacks at parties?

78. Can we party in other places besides dark dank basements or cramped apartments?

79. Do the male athletes know that there are more types of beer than PBR, Rolling Rock, and Narragansett?

80. But most importantly, how do I leave here after graduating?

And remember folks, don't take any of this personally, it's all in good fun.

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