Anxiety is a mental illness that causes someone to not be able to think rationally. Someone with anxiety will often find themselves freaking out about the small things or over analyzing everything. They often tend to stay in bed all day in fear of something that might happen further in the day. Their mind is constantly in the middle of a tornado of thoughts and worry. A person with anxiety is constantly surround by people that quite do not understand what exactly they are going through. It is important to know what not to say to someone with anxiety and why you should not say it.

1. "You control your own happiness, so just be happy."

Wrong. Most people with anxiety cannot control their happiness. We cannot just tell our brain to stop worrying about the irrational thoughts in our head. Yes, I know that to you they are clearly irrational but to me they are making me so unhappy all day. Sometimes we honestly cannot control our happiness because our brain does not make as much sertraline as someone that does not have a mental illness. This is what leads us to have to take medication so our brain will start producing that chemical again.

2. "I get anxious too, everyone does."

I know you're trying to make me feel better and make me feel like Im not alone but you do not quite understand. Yes, everyone gets nervous about an event or a thought but you are not nervous from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed everyday. Being anxious and having an anxiety disorder is not the same thing. We can not talk ourselves out of being anxious and we cannot control the situation we are anxious about because most of the time it is irrational.

3. "You have a perfect life, what do you have to worry about?" or "People have it a lot worse."

I am aware of how great I have it and trust me I feel selfish for being so upset about the smallest things. I cannot control that I have this mental illness. Trying to tell me that people have it worse isn't going to make my problems feel smaller. It is only going to make me feel worst for making something so small so big when there are people in the world that do not even have a house.

4. "Just calm down."

I do not mean to have this panic attack and I know you are trying to make me feel better but you are not making it any better. Don't you think if I could be calm I would be already? Instead give me space and just rub my back or try to breathe heavy with me so I can calm down. After that talk to me about what make me so anxious. In the end all we really want to someone to talk to us.

5. "Just take a couple of drinks and you'll forget about it."

No, I shouldn't just take a couple of drinks to feel better. Drinking will only be a short term fix and then leave me even lower when it wears off. This will lead me to becoming an alcoholic or even making my anxiety worst. Please don't think I cannot drink because I have anxiety but I cannot drink in the wrong mindset just so I can forget about it.

6. "You should not depend on medication to make you better."

For the people that do take medication for their mental illness are not dependent on their medication. Yes, sometimes we need it to become better but does not mean we are going to need it forever or we will become dependent on it. As said before our brains are not producing the right amount of sertraline and we need to medication to make our brain start making the right amount again. At the end of the day, a lot of medications save people's lives. It really does help them get back to their lives and why wouldn't you want that for your loved one?

7. "Yes, it could happen but it probably won't."

Stop right there. Please don't tell me that what I am worrying about can happen but it probably won't because than I worry a hundred times more. So what you are telling me is that it can actually happen? Oh no, now Im never leaving my room. There is no replacement for this statement just do not say it at all.

8. "Whatever you are worrying about is not a big deal."

Yes, It might not seem like a big deal to someone that doesn't suffer from anxiety but to me it is a huge deal. It bothers me every hour of every day and I cannot tell you exactly why but It just does. It might seem stupid to you or even over dramatic but this is what is ruining my day. A better option is asking me to take a walk with you and talk about it or do something to distract myself from the problem. Trust me, I will finally see that it was not a big deal but I have to learn that on my own.

We just need the support from family and friends. We just need to know that we are appreciated even though we can seem a little over the top but we don't mean to. No, we are not going to be sensitive about everything you say to us. Don't feel cautious about what you say to us either but just think before you speak. We are not our illness, we are the same person just with some different qualities. So loves us all the same.