Things you control that can make you happier

12 Things To Remember That You Control To Live A Happier Life Each Day

A lot of the time you are your biggest enemy, these are just some reminders that you truly do control how you feel every day.


I know that I am not always the most positive or optimistic when it comes to trying new things or meeting new people, but I have come up with a short list to remind me that I can change the way I see certain situations. I can control who I surround myself with on a daily basis and what I eat or how much I work out. Remembering these simple things help me live a happier life each day and I hope they can do the same for you.

1. How seriously you take life


Personally, I am the worst at this. I take life way too seriously, but they do say the first step is admitting it. You really only get one chance at it, so don't miss out on opportunities or experiences because it's out of character for you. Try new things and laugh at yourself every once in a while.

2. Who you hang out with


Cannot stress this enough. You control who you hang out with, so if they're not good for you or your health then don't hang out with them. I promise they are not worth your happiness.

3. Your effort


If you're not satisfied with something in your life, take a step back and ask yourself if there is anything more that you can do to make it better. If you believe there is no more effort to possibly be given by you, then remove that situation from your life if possible, or at least put it on the back burner and focus on more important things.

4. How personally you take things


There is nothing wrong with being sensitive, but when it's effecting your mental health, it's a problem. Not every rude or snide comment made towards you needs a reaction. Growing a thicker skin and not letting the little things get to you is totally in your control and might be one the best things you can do for yourself.

5. What you believe


You control your beliefs and while others may not agree with them, you hold strong. Don't let the opposing belief get into your head and act as fuel to a fire. There is no need to argue your belief and get yourself worked up and angry if nothing is going to be solved in the end.

6. Your priorities


You choose what is most important to you. Make sure whatever you choose to prioritize, you're actually putting first. Saying you're going to do something versus actually doing something are very different things.

7. How kind you are


Karma is real. If you're spreading kindness, it will find its way back to you. Just don't forget that you control how kind you are to others and how you treat them will be a direct reflection of how they treat you.

8. What you eat


This is huge. If you're not happy with your appearance or you just don't feel good after eating, then change your diet. You control what you put into your body, so choose wisely and healthy.

9. What you talk about


You're the only one who keeps bringing up that break up from four years ago for everyone to remember and it still makes you feel bad about yourself. Control yourself and talk about more positive times in your life.

10. What you think about


This one is tough because sometimes your mind wanders and you find yourself way over thinking a situation that would never even happen. The only way to really get control of your thoughts is making the positive ones just a little more over whelming than the negative ones.

11. How open minded you are


Seriously, the more open minded you the more experienced and cultured and educated you are. There are some things you just have to try in life and letting go and being a little optimistic could change your life. You control how open minded you are and what you're willing to try, don't miss out on something because you were too afraid to step out of your comfort zone.

12. Your happiness


At the end of the day, it's your happiness that matters. If you're not happy, start thinking of ways to change small things in your life to achieve happiness. You are the only one who can truly control the way you feel, don't forget that.

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.

Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

From an outside perspective, suicidal thoughts are rarely looked into deeper than the surface level. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is that people live in between those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble, and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead.

You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling, whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die?" or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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We Need To Recognize That Happiness Is The Journey, Not The Destination

Stop waiting to reach the peak, and recognize the climb.


I went for a run today and had an epiphany. This epiphany may just apply to myself alone, but I honestly feel that many people will be able to see themselves in it as much as I do.

My epiphany is that there are two forms of happiness. There is feeling happy, and then there is the recognization of happiness, and no, those aren't the same thing.

We spend so much time searching for happiness. Many of us dedicate our lives to finding happiness, and we believe that to be the best, or even only, way to live. Yet, somehow, we still feel like there's something missing in our lives. That's because we spend too much time looking for things to make us happy, and not enough time recognizing when we are experiencing happiness in the process.

See the thing is that feeling happy is an emotion. You are happy when you are surprised with concert tickets to your favorite band, when your parents tell you they're getting a dog, when you see that you got an A on an exam you were stressing about, and so on. These are fleeting moments of emotion. They don't last for long and don't contribute to your status of living a happy life.

Feeling happy is not a state of being. When someone asks you, “Are you happy?" you think of what you have in your life that is happy. Whether it be the college you attend, the friends you have, the dog you love, or the hobbies you really enjoy. When someone asks you that question, you respond with whether or not you believe yourself to be living a happy life. You don't respond with what current state of being you are in.

Then there is happiness. Happiness once again is not a state of being. Happiness, as I've recently realized, is a process. Happiness is taking a road trip with your friends when you stop at sketchy gas stations to pee and get snacks and then you all fight over who has aux. Happiness is seeing your mom after a month and telling her all about the frat dude who you met last weekend and the professor who you can't stand. Happiness is actually going on that run that you told yourself you would go on, even if it sucks.

Our problem in our search for happiness is that we expect it to show us a big flashy sign saying “Here it is!" when in reality a small sign has been there multiple times and you just haven't noticed.

In order to completely experience your processes of happiness, you need to acknowledge them.

If someone asked me right now, “Are you happy?" I would say yes, and not because I am happy at this moment, but because I am proud of myself for going on that run 10 minutes ago.

There was a point on my run when I thought to myself, “Wow, I said I was going to go for a run and I actually did. I'm running right now. This is happiness." Those are the exact words I thought: “This is happiness." And now is the moment where you, the reader, think to yourself: “Hold up, she was running and— happy???" No. I did not want to be on that run, I was out of shape from a weekend visiting friends and I was exhausted from a long bus ride home.

See I wasn't experiencing the emotion of happy, but I was able to acknowledge that what I was doing was a process of happiness. Acknowledging in the moment that I was experiencing that process was mindset-changing for me.

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