We all know those people who are always busy and yet always find time for us when we need them. Everyone has that person that they know they can count on for a ride, a shift covered, a spare $20 or just a listening ear. Being that person is great and helping others can be super gratifying, but eventually the burnout catches up to you. So the next time you ask "your person" for something, keep in mind these eight simple things:
1. If you ever need something, ask us
You know that I'll cover your closing shift for the fourth night in a row while you go out drinking with your friends. It doesn't matter that I practically fall asleep behind the wheel on my seven-minute drive home. It doesn't matter that I have a nine-page physics review due in 10 hours that I really need to finish to pass the class. It doesn't matter that I haven't seen my family in four days because I go from school to Job One to Job Two to bed. It doesn't matter that I've literally given everything I have left to give: if you ask me for a favor, I will never say no.
2. It hurts when you take advantage of us
While it can be incredibly rewarding to know that I've helped someone out, it can also be extremely frustrating to know that the only reason that person keeps me around is to get things from you. One-sided relationships can be highly toxic and it is difficult to come to terms with the realization that someone is only keeping me around to use me. Just checking in to make sure that we're OK means so much.
3. Sometimes we want to and we just can't
Just because I don't say no, it doesn't mean that I don't want to. Closing the concession stand isn't really how I'd choose to spend my Friday night, but if you ask me to I will.
4. We will always put your needs before our own
The fact that I still functioned last semester based on how little sleep I was getting is nothing short of a miracle. Many late nights and early mornings led to me compromising my health and wellbeing. It got to the point when I genuinely felt myself drift off behind the steering wheel when I was driving home from my fourth closing shift in a row during a school week. While I recognize that my health needs to take priority once in a while, I will sacrifice myself for you anytime you ask.
5. We need a break sometimes, too
Nine out of 10 times I went to see a movie this past year, I fell asleep. It's not because I didn't want to see the movie or that I didn't enjoy the people I was with; it's just because my body wasn't used to sitting still for two hours at a time and not being forced to do anything. If I slack on social plans once in a while, please don't take it personally and please just understand that I am too tired to function sometimes.
6. A little appreciation goes a long way
The simplest thank you or buying us ice cream in exchange for covering your shift is greatly appreciated. At the end of the day, we just want to know that you care about us and that you're grateful for the things we do for you. It doesn't have to be elaborate, but just let us know that our efforts aren't going unnoticed.
7. We do it because we love you
Everything we do, we do because we care about you. Helping you is simply how we express our affections. If we go out of our way to do things to help you, you should feel incredibly honored and know how much you mean to us.
8. We need someone to tell us that it's OK to let go of something
Sometimes all that people who can't say no need is someone to give us permission to say no. For me, that was my counselor. She helped me find things in my life that I could let go of and she helped me make sure that my own mental health became a priority. When someone like this gets overwhelmed, sometimes all they need is you to let them know that it's OK to let go of something and that they don't have to juggle everything all the time.
