As a young adult with ADHD, I'm no stranger to the feeling of being overwhelmed, and over the years I've learned a lot of helpful ways to manage emotions that feel suffocating. Today I wanted to share one of my favorite skill sets that I picked up from DBT. DBT, or dialectical behavioral therapy, is a form of therapy that was developed in the late 80s as a way to treat borderline personality disorder, which is characterized by extreme feelings and mood swings. Since its creation, DBT has been employed as a use of treating other conditions. As I mentioned before, I have ADHD, which does often involve trouble with regulating moods, but on a much less severe scale than borderline personality disorder. I think this is important to share this because not only does it serve to normalize therapy and mental health awareness, but also because I think these skills will come in handy in daily life for a majority of people.
1. Self-Soothe
men's white dress shirtPhoto by Road Trip with Raj on UnsplashOverwhelming emotion can inhibit a person's ability to think clearly. This is why one must relive the body's physical response to a feeling before trying to shift their thinking pattern into something more healthy. If you're anxious or stressed, splashing cold water or your face or doing breathing exercises can help to slow down your heart rate allowing you to think more clearly. If you're sad but can't cry, try seeking physical comfort, whether that be by hugging a loved one, playing with a pet, or wrapping yourself up in blankets for a while. If you're angry, try engaging in a physical activity that raises your heart rate, or take out your aggression on something harmless. For example, I had a friend who played drums who one told me when she got really frustrated she would play a really loud and fast song and it made her feel better. The goal here is to release the strong emotion that is weighing on the mind.
2. Imagery
hanging umbrellas during daytimePhoto by Marvin Kuhn on UnsplashOne thing a person can do after calming down to help alleviate painful emotions is to imagine a better scenario. If you're anxious, imagine the situation you are fretting over going well. If you are sad or angry, picture a peaceful setting where your troubles are far away for a little while. I know it may feel a little silly at first, but if you fully dedicate yourself to creating positive imagery and emerging yourself in it, you'd be surprised at the positive results!
3. Meaning
grayscale photo of two person holding handsPhoto by bhuvanesh gupta on UnsplashAscribing meaning to painful experiences is another productive way to get through them. Reminding yourself that, although your pain is valid, overcoming it will eventually make you a stronger, more understanding person can help reassure you enough to work through your overwhelming situation.
4. Relax/refocus
grayscale photo of woman receiving a back massage
Photo by Ale Romo Photography on UnsplashBefore you face whatever situation is troubling you, take a moment to yourself to relax. Try to focus on one thing and let the hyperactivity in your brain die down. It is helpful to adopt a hobby that involves your hands like cooking or painting to help you feel grounded- even if you're not great at it.
Although it may feel like you "don't have time" to go through this process when you are feeling overwhelmed, but taking a few moments to give yourself a breather before dealing with overwhelming situations will often be easier and more successful.
