Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Have you ever had a feeling that maybe someone you know isn't what you thought they were? Feeling like everything is your fault, even if you've done nothing wrong? Feeling victimized, betrayed, and swindled? You may just be in a relationship with a narcissistic person, or with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I want to share 8 Signs of narcissistic behavior, so that others can be cautious and not end up as victims to a narcissist.
1. Charm and Charisma
When one first meets a narcissistic personality, they are oozing with charisma and charm. This is initially how they get you hooked. They will sweep you off your feet with how suave and flirtatious they tend to act and will go to any means to seduce you, until you are under their control
2. Making Promises They Can't Keep
After holding you under the false pretense that they will do anything to be with you, they will begin to fail at holding onto their promises. Regardless how big or small the promise might be, you can be sure that they will break it sooner or later. Favors get forgotten, honesty goes right out the window, and excuses become their main source of ammunition.
3. Bails On Plans Last Minute
You will plan to meet them somewhere; whether it is a romantic date or just to hang out. Narcissists will rarely, if ever show up. Sometimes you might get a phone call or text saying that "something" came up. What is more hurtful is when they just downright forget. A worse alternative is when they don't even call you at all and just leave you hanging. Usually they will have their phone turned off or won't respond because they don't want to interact with you. Unfortunately, you end up falling for it several times because you want to give them the benefit of the doubt.
4. Back And Forth Between Insults and Compliments
Narcissists will go back and forth between showering you with praise and flirtatious remarks to barbed statements and insults. After a while of being subjected to the ups and downs of their comments, you honestly won't be able to determine which is which; that is exactly what they want to happen. Don't allow them to do that to you! Stand up and state that what they said hurt your feelings; they will either give you an insincere apology or realize that their tricks don't work and give up.
5. Emotion Vampire
Most Narcissists are emotion vampires. This means they leech off of your emotions to fuel their own. You end up feeling "drained" and exhausted, both physically and mentally. This weakens your ability to resist or refuse, because you are so tired that giving up seems like the easier option. Narcissists want to weaken you so that you can't put up a fight against the mind games. It is another way for them to be able to gain control.
6. Lacks Empathy/Fake Affection
Narcissists put on a metaphorical mask to make it seem as if they genuinely feel or care about others. They usually only care about themselves and their own feelings. This behavior is especially apparent when one is emotionally down. There are three things that they do when they can see that you are feeling depressed. One, is that they will emotionally hurt you and make you feel more vulnerable than you already were. Another is that they will ignore you entirely and discredit your emotional strife. The worst of these actions, in my opinion, is when they go to "comfort" you with their insincerity. If one is already feeling low, it is easy to succumb to the pathetic attempt they have at trying to make you feel better. Most of the time it is a mocking remark that ends up making you feel worse!
7. Concerned About Looks/Talks About Themselves Constantly
Probably the most common and obvious sign, but these actions can be easily concealed by years of "experience". Narcissists are constantly worried about their physical appearance. In very extreme cases, this can have an effect on their own physical well-being. They also like to talk about themselves a lot. The crazier the story, the better. While some Narcissists might be liars about the stories they tell, some can be true, as most of them do drastic things in order to get attention from others.
8. When Emotional, They Take It All Out On You
When a Narcissist becomes emotional (and you will certainly know when), they will take out their feelings on you. Yelling, verbal abuse,running away ( and in some extreme cases, threatening suicide or self-harm) are the methods most narcissists use in order to make you feel worse and put the blame on yourself. By making themselves the victim, they will try to declare you the perpetrator for their problems. Don't allow them to make you into a target of abuse! Leave the situation, and don't be afraid to ask others for help. True friends will always try to help you get out of a potentially harmful situation. The only reason Narcissists act this way is because it allows them to gain power and control over you.
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I hope that this article helps illuminate the warning signs of a Narcissist and how one can avoid being hurt by one. A relationship with someone who is narcissistic starts out on a slippery slope that becomes difficult to escape later on. For those that were previously unaware, I hope I have spread the seeds of caution. However, if you are in a toxic relationship with someone that might be a narcissist, LEAVE. I know that it seems impossible and extremely painful at the moment, but you will be a lot better off. No one deserves to feel worthless or unloved. Don't be afraid that your breaking up will hurt them; believe me, it won't. They will be upset because they lost their control over you, but then quickly get over it and move onto the next target. Have a support group of family and friends at your back and never be afraid to ask for help.
