Warning: "Game of Thrones" spoilers ahead.
It's been less than one month (21 days and 16 hours, to be exact) since the season six finale of "Game of Thrones" was aired, and I'm experiencing serious withdrawal. Like, cold sweats since the Tyrell and Martell family lineage is obliterated withdrawal. Like, nightmares of Hodor rising from the dead and calling Bran a selfish time-traveling twit withdrawal. Like, visions of Arya Stark killing my dad and taking his face to seduce my mom withdrawal. Like--okay, I can take a hint. Looking back at all six seasons of interweaving storylines, complicated characters, and intricate murder scenes (seriously, George, who hurt you?), you can't help but relish in the beauty of it all. So let's take a painful stroll down memory lane and remind ourselves of the most brilliant death scenes in "Game of Thrones" so far.
1. Viserys Targaryen
Viserys' death was honestly the one I found myself enjoying and remembering the most. Not only is he a creepy, sister-fondling, bleached-raggedy-Ann-looking prick, he's also just as weak and pathetic as he's afraid to be. Khal Drogo exemplifies his absolute loyalty to the mother of his child, Daenerys, while simultaneously demonstrating his infinite bad-a**ery and intelligence. And let's not forget those arms, holy cow.
2. Joffrey Baratheon
From day one, Joffrey proved to be the vilest human representation of period cramps "Game of Thrones" has ever produced. In between displaying his enemies' heads on spikes (RIP Ned Stark) and crossbow-ing naked women to his bed frame, we really don't know how he had the time or the energy to transfix his face into that smug little grin. Maybe he's born with it. Maybe it's the stunted inbreeding that caused his demented affliction for violence and self-affirmation. Whichever it was, him choking on his own bile, blood, and arrogance was definitely worth watching.
3. Oberyn Martell
I still have nightmares and occasional outburts about this death, not because of how brutal the actual killing was (geez, Clegane, reel it back a notch), but because Oberyn was a beautiful, probably exotic-eyelash-length away from victory, and then he had to get all teary-eyed about a confession, giving the Mountain enough time to recover his thoughts and conquer the Red Viper. I'll put the scene here, even though it gives me immense anxiety to do so.
4. Shae
Shae's death was a tragedy in itself, but she probably should have seen it coming. After breaking Tyrion's cold, I-use-humor-and-alcohol-to-hide-my-poor-self-esteem-filled heart, she refused to save herself and leave King's Landing, instead staying to publicly ridicule him and become his father's lover. Who does that?! A dead girl, apparently.
5. Tywin Lannister
And for the part two of Shae's death, Tyrion went ahead and killed the man bedding the love of his life: his own father. Tywin was forced to stare at the Lannister crest of his own crossbow as he debated whether he had time to wipe after his post-love-making dump. I'll give you a hint: he didn't.
5. Lysa Arryn
Petyr Baelish finally did something right when he "made [Lysa] fly" through the Moon Door of the Eyrie, down thousands of feet to her death. Not much of a complex character, fans mostly just wanted to see her go because she was whiny and kept letting her preteen son breastfeed. In front of guests. All I want to know is what the mess looks like at the bottom of the Vale, where the fallers reach approximately 125 mph by the time they make impact.
6. Walder Frey
After seasons of awaiting revenge for the Red Wedding, Walder Frey, a gutless pervert and also that mean cat-man from "Harry Potter," finally got what he deserved. Arya's going to have to find more enemies because her kill-list is dwindling.
7. Ramsay Bolton
You know how some girls just attract grimy dirtbags? Sansa Stark is apparently the queen of those girls. After being betrothed to Joffrey, she gets married off to Ramsay Bolton, a pitstain of a man just as evil, but no doubt more clever and twisted than the former. She finally got her revenge, at which "Game of Thrones" fans gave an audible sigh of satisfaction. And to use his own dogs against him? Nice touch.
So far, "Game of Thrones" has been immensely accommodating to the fans who just can't decide who their favorite character is because eventually, there won't be any more to choose from. Honorable mentions include the death of Mago, everyone the dire wolves have ever killed, and my once-hopeful heart.
