With spring break less than three weeks away, many of you may be thinking: “Wow, I need to hurry up and get in shape.” Well, have no fear, I've come up with eight reasons why you should reconsider.
1. The dad bod is in.
Ever since the creation of the worlds greatest fraternity — America — the dad bod has been a thing. Girls love it, fit people envy you, and it is easily maintained. Why change now? Spring break is the perfect opportunity to show off your most valued asset.
Exhibit A: you and your dad bod on a boat. (cue Step Brothers music).
2. If you have never worked out, now is not the time to start.
Don’t get me wrong. I want to look good on the beach as much as the next person, but with three weeks left, sometimes you have to cut your losses. Besides, three weeks is not enough time to look like that dude on the cover of Muscle and Fitness or that woman on the front of US Weekly. But it is enough to pack on some extra pounds and good times at your local bar -- which sounds like a way better time to me than sweating in the gym and starving yourself in between classes.
3. Everyone is going to be too drunk to notice your new body.
Chances are, you will be in Destin, PCB, or some other garbage place where the alcohol is flowing like an impending apocalypse is around the corner. The last thing anyone is going to consider ridiculing when they are drunk is the five pounds you did not lose before you decided to book your hotel. Proudly show what you know! Be like this girl.
4. You are going to gain back whatever you lost.
The chance of getting your hands on a salad and smoothie at PCB or Destin is nonexistent. A burger and beer, on the other hand, that’ is doable. Actually, burgers and beers are your life for the next week, so embrace it. Take a lesson from the Hoff and chow down.
5. There’s a filter for that.
Basically, what this means is if you are feeling a little pale, self-confidence is lacking, or you look a little squinty-eyed when you smile, it is nothing Sepia, Hefe, or black and white cannot fix.
6. Sorority girl voice: “It's Darty season, y'all!”
Why waste your Saturday at the gym when it is darty season and you could throw a darty, or attend one, and prepare your liver for the impending doom of spring break.
7. "House of Cards" is on Netflix. Netflix, in general.
Why waste an hour in the gym when you could have watched an episode of "House of Cards," "Grey's Anatomy," or "Prison Break"? Need I say more?
8. Pitchers on a Friday afternoon.
Getting a pitcher or enjoying happy hour on a Friday afternoon or any afternoon, for that matter, sounds way better than whatever ab workout you had planned for the day.
Your view while enjoying that pitcher you rightfully earned by going to class all week:
