Going to the gym has always been an arduous task for me. So here's a nice representation of what is coursing through my mind when I actually decide to go.
1. Today is the day
2. I will actually go this time and not chicken out
3. But if I don’t go, the only person who will know is myself and I can take her
4. However, I am trying to “get fit” and blah blah blah
5. Okay, I’ll do it; I really will go this time
6.Now I just have to find the perfect large t-shirt with leggings combo
7. Oh man, can’t find a sports bra, guess I can’t go this time, better luck next week
8. Jk found one in the dryer
9. Alright, no more excuses
10. Gotta grab my headphones and water bottle and were outta here
11. Lets get this show on the road
12. Should I walk or drive to the gym?
13. Definitely drive, 55 is too cold to walk that long in
14. No it’s not, but too late I’m already in the car
15. If I walked to the gym, would that burn enough calories for me to be able to skip it and go get some food
16. A nice milkshake would be great right now
17. Or a smoothie bowl
18. I could just replace the gym with a smoothie bowl, right? No?
19. Look at all those losers walking
20. I feel like the queen driving to the gym
21. Do you think the queen goes to the gym?
22. Probably not, she’s too cool
23. Swiggity swaggity we are here
24. Now time to find a parking spot
25. I hate parallel parking; it’s literally the worst
26. Who designs car horns for a living?
27. I’m going to take the stairs instead of the ramp because exercise is important
28. Kidding, that was a bad idea, I’m slightly winded, but I guess that’s why I’m here
29. Okay I’ve remembered my gym id number so I don’t look like a freshman
30. Beep boop bop beedop bop bop; I feel like a spy, just call me "double O Sean"
31. So we spend money to have these hand scanners but can’t afford better food in the dining hall?
32. It’s fine… it’s not that fine
33. This thing didn’t even recognize my hand
34. Second times the charm
35. Third times the charm
36. Okay, I’ll take off my ring now and see if that works
37. I guess that was the issue
38. Now we’re officially in
39. Why can’t they just have an escalator to the second floor?
40. Time to pick out what fresh tunes I want to listen to on this fine day
41. The Black Panther album? I think yes
42. This album slaps
43. That’s what cool people say, right?
44. Why are there so many people here? Can’t I just die in piece?
45. Let’s hop on this fine elliptical right in front of the TV’s
46. Why are they playing Disney Channel? Who watches it anymore after all of the good stuff ended?
47. I am now fully invested in K.C. Undercover
48. Look at Zendaya go
49. I don’t think I can go on for longer
50. Just gotta push myself to 15 minutes
51. Okay that’s over now time to clean the machine
52. Whoa are those noodles or my legs?
53. Definitely noodles
54. Time to do some weights
55. I feel like a kid in a candy shop trying to pick what to do
56. Jk this is nothing like a candy shop, I’d 1000% rather be there than here
57. Let’s start off low, I’m not trying to look like SpongeBob when he tried to lift weights
58. Just imagine if people’s arms could just rip off like that and then be perfectly fine the next day
59. Bikini Bottom is a wacky place
60. Now my legs feel like noodles again from this leg press
61. Am I walking weird?
62. I can tell you right now that I will not be getting on that hell of a machine called the “stair stepper”
63. That machine is hell on earth
64. I think I’ve done enough for the day
65. I deserve a nice pat on the back
66. Time to skip and skedaddle on out of here
67. Maybe not skip, but just a nice slow walk
68. Now I’m hungry
69. If I burned calories then I can eat whatever I want for lunch, right?
70. What will it be today?
71. Something healthy?
72. A nice smoothie bowl?
73. Cava
74. What about Chick-Fil-A?
75. Ooo or Cookout
76. Or McDonalds chicken nuggets?
Maybe one day I'll consider myself a gym rat, but for now it's just a lengthy task.
