Target: the store that has everything you could ever need. It's both a blessing and a curse. Although it's wildly convenient, it is also incredibly distracting. When I go to Target, I get way too carried away and end up buying things that I really don't need. So as you're strolling through Target, searching only for that pack of Goldfish, this is probably what's going through your mind:
1. Mmm time to go to Target to pick up a few things.
2. Or should I say... Tarjay?
3. It sounds fancier.
4. I haven't been to Target in forever.
5. I don't need a shopping cart but I might as well get one just in case.
6. It's been four days since I came here last so I'll probably need a lot of things.
7. Ooohh Oreos are on sale two for $4. Might as well get four packs. Double the sale.
8. If I get Oreos I should definitely get milk.
9. And milk goes really well with cereal.
10. This 15 oz. box of Cheerios is $2.99, but this 21 oz. box of Cheerios is on sale for $3.29.
11. So that's like... $0.2/oz. versus $0.15/oz.
12. So it's more cost effective to get the bigger box...
13. But do I really need that many Cheerios?
14. Whatever I'm getting the bigger box.
15. Also I'm basically a mathematician.
16. Wow there are eight aisles for makeup.
17. And these lights are so BLINDING.
18. All I need is mascara.
19. Should I get black, nighttime black, extra black, or jet black mascara?
20. What is the difference?!
21. Black is black. How can you have black that is less black or more black?! Anything less than black is gray, and anything more than black doesn't exist because black is the darkest color.
22. Wow. That was deep.
23. I'll get nighttime black because that seems pretty moderate.
24. Aww this little baby dress is sooooo cute!
25. I don't have a baby.
26. But, I probably will one day.
27. Might as well get it.
28. And this sweater is soooo soft.
29. Getting it.
30. Where's the candy aisle? I need sugar.
31. Okay do I want Kit Katz or Snickers?
32. I'll get both and eat half of each.
33. Who am I kidding? I'll just end up eating both.
34. But I ran today so that's fine.
35. Behold: The stationary aisle.
36. Is it sad that pretty binder clips make me so excited?
37. I'm 19 but I'm basically an 80-year-old woman.
38. Let's take a stroll down the toy aisle.
39. Why did these cool toys not exist when I was a kid?
40. Is that... a bubble machine?!
41. Need that.
42. Getting it.
43. I love bubbles.
44. Okay time to leave the toy aisle and look at adult things.
45. Well...not adult things...but...like...
46. You know what I mean.
47. Oooooh these pillows are nice.
48. I should redecorate my room to match these pillows.
49. Man, this store has everything you could ever need.
50. I'm sure I'll be back in a few days.
51. I love Target.
52. Aaaand my cart is completely full.
53. I should probably leave.
54. But that ice cream looks so appealing...
55. Nope. I'm leaving. Time to check out.
56. I think I'll try self-checkout because I am a strong, independent woman. How hard could it be?
57. Okay where is the scanny thing on this box of Cheerios?
58. How do check-out people always know where the scanny thing is?
59. They know everything.
61. That was deep.
62. I don't like self-checkout. I like it when people do things that I can easily do myself for me.
63. Oh god I just spent $400.64. Whoops.
65. Okay I'm finally done.
66. Time to skedaddle.
67. Bye Target.
68. *Terminator voice* I'll be back.
69. For real though.
70. I'll probably be here tomorrow.
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