Being in college for seven years isn’t all that uncommon. Usually in year seven you’re finishing up your Master's Degree, or perhaps even working on your Doctorate. There are, however, a few of us who are still plucking away at our Bachelor's Degree. Yes, I could begin by telling you how many times I’ve changed my major or how many semesters I’ve taken off to “chase my dreams,” but it all still boils down to me ending up on the 7.5 year plan. That being said, there are a number of things that come with the territory of being the "old man" on campus.
1. I’m not meeting for a group project at 12 a.m. What is it with these people and their study habits? Sure, I’ll meet you at 7 p.m. or perhaps even 8 p.m., but didn’t your mother ever tell you that nothing good happens after 11 p.m.? I’ve got dishes to wash, clothes to fold and Shondaland to watch. TGIT, people. C’mon.
2. I'm behind on the lingo. Every day I find myself having to look up a new word or phrase on Urban Dictionary to understand what some blonde sorority girl is saying to me. If I had a dollar for every time I heard, “low-key,” “squad,” “fam,” “plot twist” or “turnt” on any given day, I could drop out of college and live a very cushy lifestyle.
*Side Note* The lingo has low-key made its way into my vocabulary.
3. Yes, I packed my lunch. I see all of you over there eating your Chick-fil-A, drinking your Starbucks, or chomping down on a steak quesadilla, but I just spent $150 dollars at the grocery store and this gluten-free lunch meat isn’t going to eat itself. Besides, I’m saving my calories for two for one margaritas. Priorities.
4. The idea of Spring Break now annoys me. I love the beach just as much as the next guy, but you’re not going to find me doing a keg stand in Panama City or funneling a beer in Gulf Shores. Hear me out: Get rid of Spring Break and end the semester a week earlier. Sounds like a win for everyone…right?
5. Pajamas are not appropriate classroom attire. First of all, its 11 a.m. and this is your first class of the day. You really couldn’t change out of your Tweety Bird pajama pants and throw on some jeans?
*Side Note* No, I don’t have an extra pen, and no you can’t “borrow some paper.”
As the countdown to graduation continues for those like me who have long passed their Bachelor's Degree expiration date, this list will surely continue to grow. Stay tuned.
