I'm a passionate girl with a big heart but I have become more aware of my apathetic tendencies than my empathetic tendencies. #SOS
Last week, I talked about feeling empathy--or not feeling empathy, which is common. I also talked about why we should feel more of it. I often feel confused and conflicted when I don't emotionally connect to certain situations--situations that if I knew I felt something, I'd be able to do something about whether it was helping someone else through it, bringing clearer understanding or just being a good listener.
"The trick is that our empathy is only as strong as the experiences we let in."
In a world where things--for better or for worse--are constantly happening around us, our knowledge and perspective are more important than ever. Here are seven ways to start feeling more empathy to connect with the world and people around you (this post wouldn't be complete without #OITNB gifs):
1. Educate yourself.
Take advantage of educational opportunities. I mentioned in my last article that I attended a diversity healthcare conference, which I normally wouldn't have been excited to attend. With all of the happenings—for better or for worse—going on in the world, I knew an educational experience was just what I needed to gain a better insight to the true issues of the world, and how I can impact them. Just being aware is the first step. Look for educational opportunities in your area through support groups, local conferences, classes, forums.
2. Start the conversation.
Don't make assumptions--ask questions. I’d say one of the biggest reasons I have felt uncomfortable being a part of important conversations about diversity or problems that are real and significant, is because I’m often afraid of saying the wrong thing or seeming offensive when I’m not intending to be. So instead of asking questions or seeking more information, I’ll be silent. I am the problem! We must ask questions and seek to understand so we can start to be a part of these important, real-life conversations.
3. Read (more than just a headline).
If you only saw this GIF but hadn't seen #OITNB, you would VERY quickly jump to conclusions and assume good ol' Daya here is a crazy inmate. Read things you agree with and read things you don’t agree with. Open up your mind to the realness and depth of the world and situations. But actually READ! – don’t just share an article or form an opinion because you liked a headline. Your perspective isn’t any more valuable than one shaped from a headline that was trying to get your attention in the first place, than even forming an opinion at all.
4. More perspective, less bias.
Someone else’s experience could be the piece to your puzzle—be open to finding it. I’m a white, thin, redheaded girl—you could say I am privileged because I am a white, thin, redheaded girl… The fact that I even have hope that I can change the world, that you can change the world—together we can change the world—makes me privileged. Often, those who don’t think we can change the world are the ones dealing with the issues firsthand.
5. Practice being a good listener.
So that you can become a good listener! Equally as important as sharing your voice or letting it be heard is listening to each other. Listening is actually an incredibly powerful tool. I have a tendency to get excited and quickly jump to talking (because I'm sure what I have to say is soooooooo important). When we listen, we more genuinely and effectively engage in conversation, which lets the conversation go in the full direction it was intended.
6. Be an activist.
Feeling conflicted about being an activist? Me too. Thank goodness for round table discussions at Man Repeller. Being an activist and using resources (like social media) that allow you to share your voice and show support for others are valuable—valuable when used genuinely. To be cheesy—be an activist out the goodness of our heart; not because everyone else is doing it. And definitely not because you want to look like you give a shit about what’s going on in the world. Give a shit, and start by doing No. 1, 2, 3, and 4 on this list.
7. Be real about your feelings.
Maybe you're feeling a certain way--more empathetic than usual--but aren't comfortable with it. That's okay! Be honest with yourself about how that makes you feel and understand why you may feel that way. This will also help you understand why other people feel certain things or respond to situations the way they do.
If you want to change the world, be like Gandhi, y’all! And seriously be the change you wish to see in the world. And let it start with empathy. Because things don’t change until we feel something. And if you don’t want to change the world – well, at least get out of the way and let those who want to change the world, change the world.
