I've been married almost three years. I know, three years is nothing, but it's longer than the Kardashians, and many of you still worship them (just saying).
But seriously, getting here was tough. I remember one of the most beneficial assignments during our premarital counseling was to take a quiz, which alerted us to our own personal love languages. In fact, it goes even further by giving you a score for each of the five love languages: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service and physical touch. I've heard many people complain that their scores were somewhat even across the board, but that was not the case for me. Not. Even. Close.
With 30 points to spread, a whopping 10 of my points landed themselves under acts of service. What can I say? Momma really appreciates someone else washing a dish for a change. It's close to euphoria when I don't have to ask first!
With three of the four remaining love languages lying within 1 and 2 points of each other, one of my scores stood out like a poorly placed high note. That one sad and lonely point to physical touch really got me thinking, and you know what? It couldn't be more on the money.
So, I feel like I can speak on behalf of all my fellow hands-offers when I list seven of our everyday struggles:
1.The words cuddle, tickle and group-hug make us nervous.
It's not that we don't believe in love, we just know there are better ways of showing it.
2. When someone asks if they can braid or play with your hair.
You can bet that anything above my neck is off limits — scratch that, anything above my feet.
3. People who give random and unanticipated shoulder massages make me shudder.
That shaking you feel? Yeah, that's me cowering in fear.
4. Let's talk about tickling for a moment. Whose idea was that?
Just so you know, those tears flying down my face during a tickle fight is me begging for mercy. "Stop! Stop!" is not code for "Please continue, I'm enjoying this so much."
5. I love my husband more than anyone on this planet, but at the end of the day, your side of the bed is your side of the bed.
6. When you go to shake a stranger's hand and they say, "Oh, I'm a hugger!"
...and you're tempted to say, "Oh, but I'm not."
7. Lastly, it's probably a good thing I was born in the U.S.
The idea of saying hello with a kiss on each cheek makes me want to melt, and not in a good way.
So, to all of you out there who share my fear of skin to skin, I salute you! It's a hard job, you know, upholding the traditions of personal space, but somebody's gotta do it.
