May 1 is a deadline that has been seared into the minds of most high school seniors. Most colleges and universities require a deposit on this date and consequently, most students must have their mind made up about their school choice. As the last year of high school winds to a close, however, questions about college decisions continue to roll in. Students, teachers and family members express their excitement about students' college choices by asking questions; usually, these questions are harmless, but some of them can be extremely offensive or inappropriate even though they may be asked in good conscience. Here are a couple of questions you should never ask a senior when they tell you where they have decided to go to school.

1. "But how are you planning on paying for it?"

Don't worry about it. Maybe they robbed a bank, maybe they're a trust fund baby, maybe they got a scholarship or perhaps they're taking out student loans. Regardless, how a person is planning to pay for college is pretty personal (not to mention, stressful) information, and odds are if you aren't offering to write them a check or take out a loan for them, they probably don't want to discuss college financials with you.

2. "You know, I heard that they're very [insert negative attribute here]. Are you sure you want to go there?"

The rumors you may have heard about a school are often just that—rumors. Most high school seniors are already filled with a mixture of apprehension, excitement and anxiety surrounding their college choice, but usually they have done at least a little bit of research about the school, and they probably don't want to hear your gossip about how it might be bad.

3. "Why didn't you go to _____________?"

This is a seemingly harmless question, and if you're close with a person and have discussed their college choices before, this it might even be appropriate. The problem with this question is that there really isn't a way to pose it in a positive light. It almost implies that the student made the wrong college choice and sets most high school seniors on the defensive. No one wants to have to defend their college choice, and it's awkward to ask them to do so.

4. "Oh, didn't you get in to __________ University?

Whoa. This is always a no-go. Asking a person where they did or did not get accepted is a pretty touchy subject to begin with, but adding in the implication that the school they did choose to attend is not as good as some other school is unnecessary and rude. Moreover, there are many reasons why a student would choose one college or university over another, and a big one is cost. Sometimes a student simply can't afford to go to a more expensive school, and asking a question like this could open a very uncomfortable can of worms, that of a person's family's financial situation.

5. "My aunt's best friend's second cousin thrice removed's stepbrother went to that school...and he hated it."

College experiences are different for everybody. If your aunt's best friend's second cousin thrice removed's stepbrother didn't enjoy the school, that's unfortunate, but that isn't constructive information that can be used by a person who is looking forward to attending the school. After all, a college experience is truly what the student makes it, and going into it with negative expectations is just a recipe for disaster.

6. "Isn't that a party school? Aren't you worried that future employers won't take you seriously with that alma mater?"

Well, jeez, if you want to call somebody stupid, just come right out and say it! Every high schooler knows that "party school" is a code name for a college or university where learning is not the top priority, and which doesn't accept top-notch students. If you're really dead-set on asking a person whether their school of choice is known for its, er, extracurricular activities, you should try to phrase the question in a more positive way (for example, "Wow! I've heard a lot of great things about campus life. You're probably going to have a lot of opportunities to go to social events!")

7. "Isn't that really competitive? Aren't you worried you won't be able to compete?"

If someone tells you that they're attending an Ivy League university or another top-notch institution, your first reaction might be jealousy or even incredulity. What you need to remember, though, is that admissions offices are very good at what they do. If a student is selected to attend a university, chances are they will have ample opportunities to thrive there. Although this is roughly the opposite of asking someone whether they're going to a party school, the effect is the same: The implication is that they aren't very smart or won't be very successful later in life, and unless you are an academic adviser or counselor, it isn't your job to tell anyone that.

The Bottom Line:

The deadline to submit a deposit for most colleges and universities was May 1. What this means is that most high school seniors have already decided where they want to go to school in the fall. Choosing a college is a deeply personal decision, and for most students, lots of thought and research goes into it. As good as your intentions are, your reaction to hearing their college choice (which you probably formed in the period of about five seconds) is probably not as well thought out as theirs is. Furthermore, you're probably not going to change anyone's mind this late in the game...the only thing you're likely to do is make them angry or cause them to stress about their choice. Don't worry, though; not all responses to a person's college choice are bad. Not sure what to say? Just try something positive, like "That's awesome! Tell me more!" or "You must be so excited, I'm sure you'll do so well there!"