There's no place like home for the Holidays... unless you have an eating disorder. Then there's no place to be comfortable for the holidays. This is a very difficult time of year for your loved ones battling at eating disorder, so there are certain things to maybe not bring up while at the table.
1. Don't talk excessively about the food
You can see the food on the table, and they are probably uncomfortable just being there. Please don't make matters worse by only discussing the food. Instead maybe ask about their life or school/job that could make it a little less stressful.
2. "Just eat you'll be fine"
If you are noticing that your loved one is having a hard time, let them sort it out themselves unless they ask for help. Often times, it may be hard because they cannot eat everything, so they need to pick and choose and that is ok. They will eat, just in their own time.
3. Avoid asking how they feel after dinner.
Chances are they are feeling self-conscious or nauseous or just not right after eating, they may have eaten more than usual. Thanksgiving/Christmas dinners tend to be heavier than the food we usually eat, so they probably don't feel their best, but don't point it out by asking.
4. Don't ask if days like this are harder than others
They might be... or might not. Maybe being around family helps them and maybe it hinders them. Everyone is different and you never know if it is a good day or not so it is best to just not bring it up to avoid spoiling the holiday cheer.
5. Commenting on their willpower
Also probably not a good idea. Without realizing it, you will be making it a very uncomfortable situation, because you will trigger their wonder of "did I eat too much" or "was everyone looking at me" and that will only make them feel in the spotlight and more self-conscious.
6. Don't ask about their weight/clothing size
Eating disorders revolve around being uncomfortable with one's body image. Their weight, no matter the number, probably still makes them uncomfortable. The clothing can be a tricky subject as well because it may or may not fit. Often times clothing can look too big and if they are comfortable that is all that matters.
7. The last one is not something to say, but rather something not to do: Please don't try to force them to eat a lot of rich desserts.
If you know they have an eating disorder, the way to help is to support them for who they are; unless they ask for help, just be there. Although you may want to "put some meat on their bones," feeding them a bunch of pie and cake is more liable to make them sick than anything.
This holiday I ask that you support your loved ones in any shape or form. Just let them know you are there. Trying to fix things isn't always the answer, so this year lets try affection and appreciation, that just might do the trick.
Happy Holidays
