I have always had really bad taste in people. What I mean by that, is that I have always had a pretty bad judge of character. I always try to look + focus on the good in everyone, which doesn't sound like a bad thing... But I do it so much that I completely ignore all of the signs that maybe I shouldn't be around certain people. I end up spending a great deal of time with people who never really care that much for me (or anyone else for that matter) + my well being. I have given many people an incredible amount of chances that they did not deserve, and while sometimes I hate myself for doing so, I also know that I am who I am today because of these awful experiences and friend break ups that I've had. I've learned a great deal from these experiences, and now I know what I want and need in a friend, as well as know the kind of friend that I, myself, want to be. I know the signs to look for in a person so I can know when it's time to cut off a relationship, I know the things you should not overlook, and so I thought I would share a bit of what I've learned. These are all huge signs I've come across while learning more about this, the hard way.

1. Talk you into something you originally didn't want to do.

This may not always seem like a big deal. If you don't want to go swimming, or go out to eat, or watch a particular movie, but your friend persuades or tricks you into doing it anyway, it's not the end of the world, right? I mean, there is such thing as compromise, which is fine. However, if this happens often and you end up doing a lot of things you didn't want to do, and the other person never does, that is not a compromise. This is the most common way of not respecting someone's opinion. Though this may seem small, it can lead to bigger things. Your opinion is valid, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

2. Tell you other people's secrets.

I have unfortunately had to learn this the hard way many times because for some reason it just wouldn't sink in. If someone is telling you things that should remain private about someone's personal life, it is almost definite that they are telling OTHERS things about YOUR personal life that should remain private. Gossip is a huge issue. People don't just gossip to or about one person, no matter how many times I've told myself that to make myself feel better. Someone who gossips to you about others probably gossips about you to others. Don't bother convincing yourself that it's just because they "like me more than they like them" or "we're closer than they are"... Because you never know how someone feels about you until you find out what they say about you when you aren't around.

3. Avoid talking things out when you've had a fight/argument.

This may actually seem as if it's a quality of a GOOD friend, someone ready to forgive and move on quickly. However, if someone never wants to talk things out, it's usually because they don't care much about what happened, or don't really want the problem resolved. If not talked about, it's just going to remain bottled up, and eventually, as usual, will end up exploding over something that may be super small. I, myself, am not confrontational, and so when someone wants to move on and pretend like nothing happened, I typically just let them. I've found that when I do, though, I have a kind of resentment towards them that doesn't go away and continues to build as time passes. That's never a good thing to hold on to for either person, and it isn't worth it just to make things seem "normal".

4. Avoid or talk down about people who've done nothing wrong.

This one seems pretty obvious, but too many times I, myself, have been caught up in making fun of others behind their backs. People who may be a little different than us or "weird". People who have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. I'm not scared to admit this because I know when I've done wrong, and I also know that everyone has done this at one time or another. As I said earlier, I tend to search for the good in everyone, and so usually I would find a reason, no matter how small, to let it go. "Well it could be worse" or "at least they're not making fun of me". Unfortunately, your "friends" typically expect you to join because after all, misery loves company. It makes them feel less awful about themselves if you're doing it too because then they aren't alone and they potentially have someone to blame. When you're around this kind of talk a lot, you allow it to become normal and you tend to join in. It's sad how much I've let this kind of thing control my life in the past, because no one should have to talk down on people to remain friends with someone. This is one of the worst signs of a bad friend and it should not be ignored.

5. Consistently cancels plans for something "better."

You are worth it. You deserve someone who doesn't put you last. You deserve someone who will actually be there when they say they will be. Don't keep telling yourself you aren't as important as whatever they cancelled for because it isn't true. Don't tell yourself that they really are just too busy. You deserve better

6. Never admits they're wrong or says sorry.

No one is perfect. No one. So if someone is never admitting fault, that's a pretty big sign that they never will, even when they really need to. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone should acknowledge when they do. I hate when people say "love means never having to say sorry." SCREW THAT. Sometimes you have to be sorry, and you definitely have to say it.

7. Encourages you to lie to others.

Unfortunately, this has been another big problem for me. If you have to lie to your parents, a friend, or anyone else about this person to be able to spend time with them, probably just DON'T. Whatever you're doing with them is obviously not a good idea if you have to lie to others about it. You shouldn't have to lie about someone, so people think they're a good friend or "there's a reason they treat me/others that way." It's not true. Good people/friends don't need lies to make them sound better, and they would never convince you to lie about something because liars are the worst and just create a tangled mess.

There are plenty of other awful things "friends" do to each other, but I feel these seven are the biggest indicators that you may be wasting your time and just setting yourself up for hurt. Save yourself the trouble and disappointment by noticing these things early and knowing when someone probably isn't going to stick around. I've still got a lot of work to do in the friendship department, but I have definitely become a better friend and person than I was 5 years ago and that's because of the experiences I've had, but still I wouldn't wish them on anyone. Choose your friends carefully. You deserve friends who care for you.