To My Friend Who Really Wasn't My Friend

To My Friend Who Really Wasn't My Friend

You win some, you lose some.
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Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Fool me three times, why are we still friends?

If someone has yet to tell you, allow me to be the first: you are important. Something I consistently struggle with (and imagine I will continue to in the future) is allowing myself to have toxic friendships. Guess what? You do not have to be friends with people who do not treat you like a person, let alone a friend. You don't have to be friends with everyone you meet.

It is hard to recognize when a friendship is not at it's prime. Usually, you do not even see the damage the friendship is doing until after it's already over. Then by that time, you wonder why you've wasted six months on a friendship that wasn't even worth it.

Unfortunately, it's super hard to end a friendship, truthfully. We act like it's so easy, but, in reality, it actually is rather difficult. We don't want to deal with the awkwardness of admitting there is a problem and that we would rather split ways. Plus, you did start being their friend for a reason. I have found that some friendships just have more bad than good, and because of that, I would rather not deal with the negativity of that friend in turn to only reap a few benefits. It's hard to "break up" with your friend. By the way, friendship break ups are totally real.

Invest in those who invest in you (my life motto now that I have started college).

Having a friend who isn't truly your friend is miserable. They are negative, they don't support you, and they just bring you down. No one needs a "friend" like that. One of the scariest things I have done is weed out bad friends. Now roughly a year later, I could not be more thrilled to have the amazing friends I do have, and to wake up each morning and not feel as if negativity is haunting me.

To the friend who wasn't my friend:

Thank you. You showed me that there are better friendships out there and that negativity does not have to be a part of my everyday life. I love smiling, but in my time spent with you, I found myself often frowning. Thank you for never asking about my day or how I am doing, for now, I know that those questions are important and lets a person know you care. I ask them every time I see someone now. Thank you for leaving me hanging in times of need and never going out of your way for me, for it showed me that sacrifice and flexibility are key features of honest friendship. Thank you for our good times, because while I often have spoiled memories of you, I know that we were friends for a reason and not all my time was wasted.

Thank you for letting our friendship end.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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I Went To "The Bachelor" Auditions

And here's why you won’t be seeing me on TV.
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It’s finally time to admit my guilty pleasure: I have always been a huge fan of The Bachelor.

I can readily admit that I’ve been a part of Bachelor fantasy leagues, watch parties, solo watching — you name it, I’ve gone the whole nine yards. While I will admit that the show can be incredibly trashy at times, something about it makes me want to watch it that much more. So when I found out that The Bachelor was holding auditions in Houston, I had to investigate.

While I never had the intention of actually auditioning, there was no way I would miss an opportunity to spend some time people watching and check out the filming location of one of my favorite TV shows.

The casting location of The Bachelor, The Downtown Aquarium in Houston, was less than two blocks away from my office. I assumed that I would easily be able to spot the audition line, secretly hoping that the endless line of people would beg the question: what fish could draw THAT big of a crowd?

As I trekked around the tanks full of aquatic creatures in my bright pink dress and heels (feeling somewhat silly for being in such nice clothes in an aquarium and being really proud of myself for somewhat looking the part), I realized that these auditions would be a lot harder to find than I thought.

Finally, I followed the scent of hairspray leading me up the elevator to the third floor of the aquarium.

The doors slid open. I found myself at the end of a large line of 20-something-year-old men and women and I could feel all eyes on me, their next competitor. I watched as one woman pulled out her travel sized hair curler, someone practiced answering interview questions with a companion, and a man (who was definitely a little too old to be the next bachelor) trying out his own pick-up lines on some of the women standing next to him.

I walked to the end of the line (trying to maintain my nonchalant attitude — I don’t want to find love on a TV show). As I looked around, I realized that one woman had not taken her eyes off of me. She batted her fake eyelashes and looked at her friend, mumbling something about the *grumble mumble* “girl in the pink dress.”

I felt a wave of insecurity as I looked down at my body, immediately beginning to recognize the minor flaws in my appearance.

The string hanging off my dress, the bruise on my ankle, the smudge of mascara I was sure I had on the left corner of my eye. I could feel myself begin to sweat. These women were all so gorgeous. Everyone’s hair was perfectly in place, their eyeliner was done flawlessly, and most of them looked like they had just walked off the runway. Obviously, I stuck out like a sore thumb.

I walked over to the couches and sat down. For someone who for the most part spent most of the two hours each Monday night mocking the cast, I was shocked by how much pressure and tension I felt in the room.

A cop, stationed outside the audition room, looked over at me. After a brief explanation that I was just there to watch, he smiled and offered me a tour around the audition space. I watched the lines of beautiful people walk in and out of the space, realizing that each and every one of these contestants to-be was fixated on their own flaws rather than actually worrying about “love.”

Being with all these people, I can see why it’s so easy to get sucked into the fantasy. Reality TV sells because it’s different than real life. And really, what girl wouldn’t like a rose?

Why was I so intimidated by these people? Reality TV is actually the biggest oxymoron. In real life, one person doesn’t get to call all the shots. Every night isn’t going to be in a helicopter looking over the south of France. A real relationship depends on more than the first impression.

The best part of being in a relationship is the reality. The best part about yourself isn’t your high heels. It’s not the perfect dress or the great pick-up lines. It’s being with the person that you can be real with. While I will always be a fan of The Bachelor franchise, this was a nice dose of reality. I think I’ll stick to my cheap sushi dates and getting caught in the rain.

But for anyone who wants to be on The Bachelor, let me just tell you: Your mom was right. There really are a lot of fish in the sea. Or at least at the aquarium.

Cover Image Credit: The Cut

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I Lost Two Babies Before Age 20, And I’m Proud Of Alabama For Banning Abortion

Life begins at conception.

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Gov. Kay Ivey signed the Alabama Human Life Protection Act into law on May 15 after it passed with flying colors in both branches of Alabama legislature.

The Alabama Human Life Protection Act will criminalize abortions in Alabama, with a "successful abortion" being a Class A felony (punishable by up to 99 years in prison), and an "attempted abortion" being a Class C penalty.

Before moving on, I feel as though I need to point out that these felony charges are NOT for the woman, but for the doctor/professional who performs the abortion.

Much of the opposition comes from the lack of exceptions for cases of rape and incest. However, there is an exception in cases where the mother's life is at extreme risk.

SEE ALSO: Alabama's Abortion Ban, Passed Into Law By 25 Men, Is Not Pro-Life — It's Anti-Woman

I've seen A LOT of posts lately from the liberal/pro-choice side of the issue, with little public representation (outside of personal social media outlets) from the pro-life side. So, here is my take on the matter.

I've always been a very open person and someone who can at least listen to (and respect) the opinions of others, even when they don't match my own beliefs. But the topic of abortion is my only exception.

I will NEVER be able to fathom how anyone in their right minds can support abortion. To me, it isn't an issue of pure opinion. It's about morals. Either you're okay with the murdering of unborn children or you're not. And unless you are in the latter group, your morals should be in question.

My opinions and beliefs on abortion are not based on culture or religion. When I was young, it could be argued that my raising or my Christian beliefs could be "to blame" for my pro-life stance. However, that is no longer the case. While I do still live in the same culture and still believe in the same religion, my stance is all my own, based on my own life experiences.

I became pregnant at 17 and was certainly scared out of my mind, but I made my choices and my own careless actions resulted in the conception of that beautiful, unmistakable life that grew inside of me.

But I lost that little life due to circumstances that I could not control.

At 19, I became pregnant again, for an even shorter period of time. Honestly, even in such early stages of pregnancy, there is still proof of that life inside of you. Little things that sometimes are hard to notice and sometimes are hard to ignore. I knew I was pregnant very early on both times, but I can promise you that, while one pregnancy was planned and one was not, that little life inside of me was ALWAYS a life.

From the moment I conceived, there was a life separate from my own.

As a woman who has lost pregnancies and worries about her future fertility, it angers me to even begin to think about a careless woman taking the life of her child due to her own selfish agenda.

Some argue that while our adoption and foster system are overrun, abortions should continue (and are considered to be the most viable option). Honestly, though, our world is crowded, over-populated, and dying, but you don't see liberals promoting mass genocide and murder just to protect and/or save the other half of the population.

SEE ALSO: I'm A Small Town Christian From Alabama, But As A Woman, I Cannot Support Banning Abortion

No one is standing up and saying, "But wouldn't it be better for everyone just to kill off half of us? Those who die will not have to suffer and those who live will prosper." Isn't that sort of what abortion is? Murdering a select group of life, just to save them from suffering and to protect those still here?

While I understand the utter travesty and pain of those impregnated due to rape, who are we to decide that the life of a baby conceived in such ways is any less important than another? I get that the lack of exceptions is infuriating to those who already believe abortion to be justified.

But honestly, a life is a life is a life.

One life is no more or less worthy of protection than another.

The state of Alabama and its elected officials have shown bravery and efficiency these past couple weeks. Their hard work and dedication have brought this state honor and pride.

Rep. Terri Collins, the bill's sponsor, is courageous and strong. Even though the risks and backlash were known, Collins pushed this bill anyway and saw to it that the state of Alabama would no longer sit by the wayside and be a part of the murdering of innocent, unborn children.

I'm so glad that my home state now has the most strict laws on abortion in the United States since Roe v. Wade.

I firmly believe in The Alabama Human Life Protection Act.

I proudly stand with Alabama and its elected officials because life begins at conception.

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