Thanks to the current movement of breaking the stigma surrounding mental illness, people are slowly starting to open up about their struggles and receive help. Despite these efforts, every day I run into people who just say really, really dumb stuff regarding mental illnesses, especially depression.
Here's some of the dumb statements that should go away.
1. "Wait, so do you like, want to kill yourself or something?"
Alright, having depression does not, I repeat, DOES NOT equal being suicidal. Yes, it can be a catalyst towards that, but most of the time people with depression are surprisingly stable. Don't just assume someone wants to commit suicide because they have depression.
However, if someone is suicidal, listen. Encourage them to get help and let them know you care. Suicide is not a joke.
2. "Your life is literally perfect. Why on earth are you depressed?"
Just... just... No. Please stop right there. Depression can often be caused by brain chemistry imbalances, internal imbalances, and external stimuli. Also, you have no clue what a person is going through. Depression doesn't always make sense - and you don't have to try to understand it. Different people struggle with different things, and are affected differently by those different things.
So before you go to question why someone is depressed, take into account that you have very little insight into what is going on in their body, mind, and soul. You also may not know social situations they are having to deal with. Also, most the time asking a depressed person, "Why the heck are you depressed?" will just make them feel further isolated. Even if you don't understand, be caring.
3. "Oh yeah, I know how you feel. I have bad days, too."
Depression is not just a few bad days. Actual depression (I stress "actual" because of the people who label their natural mood swings as depression) is a daily battle. Some days it's bearable, and other days it shades your entire life with darkness. But it's always there in the back of your head.
Belittling someone's mental illness to the level of a "bad day" does nothing productive. It just adds to the voice in their mind saying that they are weak and pathetic.
4. "Calm down. Depression is just in your head."
See answer for #2.
I wish depression was just in my head, and that I could easily get over it whenever I experienced it. I really do. But that isn't how it works.
Unless you know exactly how to cope and work through depression, don't even consider saying this to someone.
5. Any sort of, "Oh my gosh, I want to kill myself!" jokes
As stated previously, suicide is not a joke. Therefore it is not a joking matter. Therefore do not joke about it - especially around people who deal with depression or suicidal thoughts. You need to take into account how serious it is or how terrifying suicidal thoughts are.
Joking about it just makes you look like an idiot and makes those who are struggling feel worse.
6. "Depression is just a hyped up label."
Yes, it is an overused term. People claim that they're depressed all the time. However, those who legitimately have depression do not use it as some title or means to get attention. If you do not have depression, then please for the sake of those who do, do not use that term lightly.
7. "Calm down. It's not like you have cancer or something."
Mental illness is just that - an illness. Sure, it can't necessarily kill you or put you through daily physical difficulties. But depression presents its own issues: a daily mental, emotional, and spiritual war against the dark thoughts that constantly try to take precedence.
It's OK not to understand what it's like to live with depression. Educate yourself. Support those who are dealing with it. And please keep in mind what not to say.
