Many individuals such as myself, are suffering from severe anxiety. Suffering from a mental illness can be difficult, but it does not define us. We are so much more than the person behind the anxiety. We are loving, intelligent, empathetic indivdiuals that have so much to offer in this life. Sometimes we feel that our loved ones don’t know how to handle our anxiety. There are times we feel alone or isolated and just need support.
1. Difficulty explaining how we feel.
There are several days we wake up and cannot explain how we feel. Some days we have trouble validating our feelings. We aren’t sure what is making us anxious. It’s a similar feeling of getting up in front of a group of people to do a presentation. Explaining physical symptoms to people can help them understand. Our hearts are racing a million miles a minute, there is a heavy feeling in our chests, our stomachs are turning. Even if you don’t understand why we are acting a certain way, we ask that you just be patient with us.
2. We hate change.
People who suffer from anxiety love consistency. Being in a routine reduces stress and anxiety. Starting a new job, moving, or new relationships are a few examples of change that we have a hard time facing. You’ll find that pushing us out of our comfort zones is challenging. If we are going through a significant change we need support. We may not always ask for support, but we need it.
3. We have irrational fears.
Everyone has a common fears such as heights, spiders, or flying. People with anxiety experience several fears. One of my fears is going through a car wash. The idea of being trapped in my car in with no air while being in a small space freaks me out. Another fear I have is when my phone rings. My heart starts racing and I never want to answer the call. Our fears might not make sense to other people. It is very hard for us to let to go of these fears or phobias. Concepts that other people find “normal” may seem frightening to us.
4. Don’t tell us to “calm down” or to “get over it.”
Telling us to “calm down” does not help. We don’t know how to relax, so telling us to “calm down” is degrading and hurtful. Another common reply to our anxiety attacks is “get over it.” By telling us to “get over it” we feel as if our problems are less significant than yours. It feels as if our problems are being swept under the rug. If they are opening up to you about their anxiety, then listen whole heartedly. Being an active listener is one of the best ways a person can support them.
5. We love differently.
We have huge hearts and we tend to feel things much deeper than others. We also have trust issues, but most of the time we will deny them. We are guarded individuals and we sometimes we find it difficult to let others in. There are times we are going to think less of ourselves. We won’t believe that we are good enough for you. There are times we feel like such a burden that we keep to ourselves. We hide our emotions to the point where it leads to a panic attack. Please remember that we are doing the best we can.
6. We enjoy alone time.
We love spending time with friends and family, but there are days we need to be alone. It feels as if we are fighting a war with ourselves. It might mean taking a bath, drawing, or having a glass of wine. We need to take time to find peace within ourselves. We have to shut off our brains that are constantly going. Taking time to self-reflect on events or situations that have changed or impacted us is extremely important.
7. We are grateful.
To the people who have always been there for us, we are beyond grateful. Thank you being patient, understanding, and loving during our time of need. Thank you for never treating us differently. Thank you for being the shoulder to cry on or the late night phone call. Please know that your support does not go unnoticed.
