Transitioning from straight/relaxed to natural hair has been one of the most stressful things I have ever had to do. My hair and I are always in a constant battle over my head, fighting to see who will win. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is my second year into having natural hair and it’s been cool watching my heat damaged, permanently straight ends die away and in their wake came curls on curls on curls. I love being able to confidently wash my hair and walk outside, or, my go-to style, doing braid outs. But every good thing comes with a little struggle. Here are 7 struggles every girl with natural hair knows to know:

1. Doing your hair is a super long ritual

You have to wash, shampoo, condition, deep condition, leave-in condition, add oil, extra coconut oil, and detangle your hair all before you can begin the arm-numbing task of braiding/twisting your mane before bed.

2. Shrinkage

It’s never a sure guess as to how much your hair has grown unless you straighten it, which is exactly the activity natural girls hate to do. So instead we have to grab a piece and pull it down in order to judge its length, but only at the risk of ruining that strand’s curl pattern.

3. People saying they miss your straight hair

I hate going home for holidays and hearing family and friends ask how often I straighten my hair and if I’ll ever go back — I don’t and I won’t. They swear straight hair was better on me, but any time I look back at pictures, I’m horrified that I used to spend hours straightening my hair and that monstrosity was the outcome.

4. Being jealous of other naturals

Naturals love looking at different ways to style our hair, or looking at other natural women’s hair. Seeing other people’s bouncy curls, who just did the big chop a month ago and already have a head full of curls, makes us more envious than anything I could ever think of.

5. People touching your hair without permission

For some reason, especially when you are transitioning, people love to touch your hair and comment on your progress. Yes, I know my curls are starting to look different, and yes, I know my hair is a lot more voluminous than those dead, straight strands it used to be. But that does not mean you can run your fingers through it and frizz up my braid-out.

6. Clumps

Hate these things. We all hate these things.

7. Waking up to still wet twists/braids

Nothing. NOTHING. Nothing is more heartbreaking than waking up after a two-hour hair braiding/twisting special and being excited about the perfect curls you’ll be able to flaunt for the week, and finding that they are still wet. This has happened to me so many times. You just have to use a little too much product in your hair, wake up with just the right amount of time to undo your hair and get to class, and you find that your hair is still wet. Wet braids/twists = frizzy, lifeless curls that won’t last past the hour. It’s back to the puff for you.