Relationships can be wonderful, exciting, and fulfilling, but sometimes these feelings start to fade. The wide-eyed wonder you once felt with someone can become dull and disappointing. Sometimes the butterflies you once felt in your stomach will slowly wither away.

This doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. Some relationships run their course and reach their natural ending. That doesn’t mean it’s always easy to end, and that’s why I’m here. The end of your relationship doesn’t have to be the end of the world. There are ways to handle it in a healthy manner and save yourself from a lot of pain.

Here are 7 steps to take to experience a pain-free breakup.

1. Understand why you want the relationship to end.

While approaching the end of a relationship, it’s good to take some time to look within yourself and understand the reasons you want to end it. Ask yourself why it’s better to end your current relationship as compared with sticking it out. There’s no way to measure what a good reason is.

For some people, they may just be bored of their partner and don’t feel it’s a good fit. Others may be at their wit's end with a partner whom they argue with more often than not and need to be separated from the toxicity of the relationship. No matter what the reason, know that it is a valid reason and you deserve to be happy.

2. Make a plan for when you want the breakup to occur.

This isn’t the time to just “wing it." You may have been able to get away with barely studying for a calculus exam, but spontaneously ending a relationship won’t bring you much happiness. Instead of calling your partner up and demanding the relationship end, make a plan to see them in person.

If you can, make a plan to both drive yourselves there separately. Keep in mind that your partner may not be aware the relationship is about to end, so be sure it’s a comfortable place for the both of you to discuss the breakup. Realize that you may never want to enter this place again and dredge up memories of the breakup, so avoid picking your favorite tea shop or the like.

3. Practice what you will say.

Think about how you can preserve not only your feelings but those of your partners. Instead of cursing them out for everything that went wrong, think of a mature way to convey your feelings. Be prepared for your partner to ask questions as to why you want the relationship to end, and be prepared to answer these questions. You don’t owe them every single reason for why you want to break up with them, but it’s courteous to explain those feelings you thought about earlier.

4. Plan the rest of your day to be restorative in some way.

When the relationship has ended, know it is okay for you to walk away and do something you’d like to. This could be hanging out with a group of friends, curling up with a good book, or seeing a movie with a family member. Choose an activity that will give you time to decompress, talk if you need to, or distract yourself from the breakup. It’s important that you understand this is the time to be selfish and give yourself the self-care you deserve.

5. Remove your ex-partner from your phone, social media, etc.

It’s hard to move on from a breakup if you’re constantly seeing pictures of your ex on your Instagram feed or Facebook wall. Unfriending them is the best step for now, and even blocking them if you feel the need to really avoid any interaction with them. Deleting their number is a good step towards closure. If this worries you, you can give their number to a friend and have them hold onto it for safekeeping in case you ever need it in the future. Allow yourself to have time to recover on your own. This will save you a lot of potential heartbreak.

6. Find ways to keep yourself occupied.

After a breakup, it’s important to keep yourself busy. Schedule time with friends you lost contact with during your relationship, catch up on those books piling on your desk, take up a new hobby you’ve been dying to try. Whatever it is that you choose to do, keeping your mind stimulated will bring happiness to your heart. Fill the extra time you used to spend with your partner with activities that make you happy and give you good energy. It’ll help you heal much faster.

7. Give yourself time to self-reflect.

When all of it is said and done, give yourself some quiet time to reflect on what happened. Unfortunately, not every breakup can be 100% pain-free and you may need a night or two to cry it out with your best friends and a lot of chocolate. It’s healthier to let yourself feel the sadness than to bottle it all up and pretend you’re okay.

No matter what though, know that you are loved and that you will be okay someday. That someday may feel like it’s a long time off, but you’ll get there. Take care of yourself and your happiness. You’ve got this.