Ending any relationship is challenging, whether it is a friendship or a romantic relationship.
I found myself caught up in this idea of wishing and yearning for the potential that I thought I had with another person, rather than accepting the reality of what the situation really was. While it's perfectly OK to feel upset about the situation, after a little bit of time, it's best to begin moving forward and continuing on with your life.
Do not allow the negativity of past relationships to plague your current thoughts, feelings, and overall attitude towards life. Instead, accept what happened, think about all that you learned about yourself, this other person, and even relationships or friendships in general, and then determine how you will implement these lessons into future moments of your life.
Part of the healing process is moving on in a healthy manner. Also, it is important to keep in mind that each person moves on differently and over a different length of time. But, if you are ready to get it all finished within a week, then get ready to diligently add a new step every day.
Here are 7 steps for you to set this process into motion over the course of a week — yes, that's just one step a day.
1. Remove all things that remind you of your ex and put them into a box so you can't see them.
First things first, after you've just broken up, remove all the pictures of the two of you from your walls, any gifts that they gave you that are set out, and any clothes of theirs that may still be lingering around. Place these items into a box. Once you are sure you have everything packed up, place the box someplace where you won't see it, perhaps hidden in the closet, tucked away in the attic, or the basement. This way, you won't have to see any of the items that remind you of this person, even if you did find joy in these items. This is all part of the detachment process. Eventually, when you feel ready, toss the whole box in the garbage.
2. Clean up your social media accounts.
Start off by archiving, and then eventually deleting, all of the posts about your ex on social media. Also, remove any tags of anniversaries in bios or relationship statuses online so that people know you are back on the market. Moreover, remove them as a friend on any social media. You can't be friends with your ex; it just will not work out. There's always going to be some hard feelings about how things ended, even if they were mutual since there was a romantic connection at one point in time. And yes, this also includes Snapchat. You don't want them to see what you're up to (especially when you start talking to/hanging out with/dating other people) and you most certainly don't want to see what they are up to because it is a waste of your time to fret about it and start triggering memories. Plus, by removing them from social media, it prevents the enticement of even wanting to look them up to see what their life is like post-break-up.
3. Have your friends and family remove your ex from their social media too.
Your friends and family should hopefully back you up on this, because if they don't, then they must not be your truly care about you. Also, this way, nobody close to you will be keeping info on what is up with your ex; this prevents the potential to have any conversations struck up about this person saving you time and helping you to move on.
P.S. Be sure to also remove any of their friends or family members that you may have on your social media for similar reasons.
4. Delete all the pictures of the two of you from your phone.
Be sure to back these pictures up someplace on your computer or perhaps a flash drive so that way you still have the photos but they are not easily accessible. This may be really hard to do and it probably won't be done all in one time period, especially if the two of you were together for a while; however, it will most certainly help with the detachment process.
5. Remove old text conversations and their phone number from your contact list.
Don't even bother rereading these messages; it will just invite reliving certain emotional situations. In your healing process, you don't want to waste any more time on the negativity that could be conjured from this person. Also, remove their cell number from your contact list so that there isn't even a chance that you would decide to contact them. It's over.
6. Stop making references to your ex.
It is very understandable that all you want to do is explain your situation to all your friends, family, or just anyone that comes into contact with you. Let it out; go ahead and vent. Yet, after a few days, you will begin to realize that this is all you're talking about and that is unhealthy. Thus, it's time to just accept that whatever happened has happened. If you are truly mindful and able to think before you speak, then when you have a thought about making a reference to your ex, make the conscious decision to prevent yourself from doing so. Soon, it will be very easy to not talk about them since you are making that the new normal.
7. Identify all you have learned from this experience and say bye bye.
In the end, this person was a part of your life for some duration of time. There were good experiences and there were bad experiences; ultimately, and hopefully, you took away some valuable insight. When you reflect on what you've learned this time around, then move on and begin to implement those things in the next stages of your life.
Thank u, next.
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