We find ourselves on the cusp of the fall season, and with that, the coming of weddings. You may find that you have been invited to many weddings already, whether it be for family, friends, acquaintances, maybe even that guy at the bar celebrating his bachelor party that can’t see straight. With the onset of weddings quickly filling you schedule you become overwhelmed with feelings that people often associate with the 7 stages of grief.
1. Shock
Shock is the first stage. It could be a small static shock when you’re walking on carpet with socks and then touch a door knob, or a larger shock, like when you want to see what happens when you jam a fork into an outlet. Really, that person is getting married? I saw that guy throwing up into the urinal last week... he’s getting married? Or, wait those two are getting married? They’ve only been dating for like 6 months!?
2. Denial
Denial is our second stage. No, no way that person is getting married before me. I refuse to believe that he/she could find love before me. This stage is centered on one's ego and whether or not they can accept that others might find a lifetime of happiness before they themselves can find it. Often, this is the stage equated with people that have low self-esteem.
3. Anger
ANGER, our third stage of seven. This stage can represent several facets when dealing with people’s weddings. Including, but not limited to: how could you be marrying that person, you want to spend how much on food, I want Kid Rock to play at the wedding, etc. Depending upon your role in the wedding--groom, bride, ring bearer, drunk uncle, college roommate--your level of anger could rise and fall at any point during the entire process.
4. Bargaining
Our fourth stage brings us to Bargaining. Now, this is a special stage that is mostly centered on the wedding party and people featured in the wedding. When someone special asks you to be in their wedding, you’re hit with feeling ecstasy--you begin feeling happier than a girl wearing Ugg boots getting her first pumpkin spice latte of the season! But, that feeling quickly evaporates as you start to realize how much money this wedding will cost you, and you aren’t even the one getting married! That’s where bargaining comes in; well, if I don’t eat this month, I can maybe afford my tux.
5. Depression
Depression: the fifth stage. What could be depressing about a wedding, you ask? It’s a day filled with love and happiness; how could it possibly be sad? Depending upon your outlook, many could be depressed on the day of a wedding. People looking on at the bride and groom happy, while we sit in the audience brooding about our sad lives and how we’ll never find a love like that. Perhaps even the bride and groom could experience a fit of depression at some point. Get cold feet, and realize, oh I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with this person after today. Perhaps a loved one passed away recently and weren’t able to see their baby boy or girl finally get married. Often the happiest days of our lives can be the saddest.
6. Guilt
The sixth stage of seven: Guilt. Guilt can quickly flood one’s mind when the levee breaks. Guilt takes many shapes, sizes, and forms when we’re talking of weddings. Do you feel guilty about giving your life to this person? Do you regret bringing this person to a family wedding because they’re an annoying date? Do feel guilty about being the drunkest person and doing an Olympic dismount onto a table? Guilt is a sucking tendril that won’t release its grasp until you are prepared to let it go.
7. Acceptance
Our seventh and final stage: Acceptance. You must accept that others will get married before you. Many people feel incomplete until they are married--it is just how they are programmed. Just because someone else found that special someone doesn’t mean you won’t find yours in due time. What weddings are for is to remind us of something special between two people joining together. For others, weddings are just a good excuse to get drunk and have a good time. Learn to accept that down the road there will be many winds and turns, but the journey will be well worth it.
