If you've been seeing someone for a few weeks and he hasn't called you his girlfriend or called it a date, you may be dating an almost-boyfriend. I haven't dated much, but I've had plenty of first dates and almost-boyfriends. The almost-boyfriend category hurts the most and is the most frustrating. You think everything in your relationship is going right, but the boyfriend/girlfriend label is missing. Whatever someone's reason for not committing to a real relationship or defining what your relationship is, don't be fooled into staying. If you think you're in a relationship with an almost-boyfriend, here are some signs.
1. You haven't been on a proper date
He's come over to your place to watch a movie or hang out, but you haven't gone to a movie together or been taken out to dinner. If you haven't dressed nice and put on makeup for a night out, either your guy is taking things slowly, he's afraid of being seen in public or he's afraid of committing. If he hasn't taken you out in public yet, you may have different ideas on your relationship.
2. Or he'll only take you to casual places
If your dates only happen at coffee shops, the movies, or bars, you may be in an almost relationship. When you do go out, you don't talk as much and aren't as close as when you binge watch Netflix or spend time behind closed doors. If someone was interested in a serious relationship, they'd put in the effort and take you out on a proper date. Grabbing coffee or a cheap movie is nice if you're just starting a relationship, but if that's all you do, you have an almost relationship.
3. He's a bad texter
He takes forever to respond to simple texts or a direct question. If you're lucky, you'll get a reply hours later with a weak apology of, "Hey sorry. Was busy." It takes seconds to send a quick text or answer a question. If he continually never texts back or gets back to you the next morning, he doesn't value you as much as you do. Being bad at communication or texting is also no excuse. Good communication is key for any relationship to last.
4. Or all you do is text
It could be one of those relationships where you only talk via text, not in-person. He'll text you at work on breaks. You'll wake up to a good morning text and fall asleep to a "goodnight babe." He constantly asks about your day or what you're doing. You share details about your life with him and know what kind of day he's had at work, but there's been no talk of another date or meet-up. If someone wants an actual relationship, they'd put in the effort and see you in person. Whether he never texts back or your relationship consists mostly of texting, you most likely have an almost-boyfriend.
5. He doesn't show interest in you
He only half pays attention to your rants or talking about your day. You shouldn't keep putting up with being ignored. Let him know how you feel, and if he still doesn't pay attention, leave. He never wants to do anything you want to do and would rather play video games or continue watching Netflix in one of your rooms. Speaking of rooms.
6. You always hang out at your place
Whether he's embarrassed about where he lives, the mess, or his friends, you still want to at least once go to his place, but you always ends up in your room.
7. You want more than the current situation
You do all the above, but you want more. You may want to go out for a fancy dinner and have him in your life more. If you want more of an effort and commitment from him, but he can't commit, he definitely wants to stay in an almost relationship and you should leave him.
If your interests and futures don't line up, or one of you isn't happy with the current situation, talk to your partner. Let him know what you want, and if he can't commit to an actual relationship, don't feel bad about ending what you currently have and leaving. Don't stay in an almost relationship, hoping it'll lead somewhere, if you're not happy. Your man is out there somewhere.
