We all have something, or someone, that we have held onto for so long that it has started to become toxic to our mental health and emotional well-being. And once it has become a part of you, it’s not easy to move on from it. For some, it can take months or even years. But once you have scratched and clawed and fought your way out of the dark hole you fell into, here are a few ways to know you are finally free:

1. You don’t cringe when those old songs come on the radio.

You know you are over it when those specific songs return to being just music, instead of everything you used to incorporate them with.

2.You realize you really can survive an entire day without talking to them.

And then that one day turns into a week, then a month, and you are still okay.

3. Your heart doesn’t drop in your chest when you hear somebody say their name.

You used to zone into any conversation that was even remotely about them, now you have lost all interest in knowing.

4. You can enjoy new experiences without wishing they were there with you, too.

You learn how to love the independence of night drives and stargazing, the sky is still the sky without them.

5. You learn to forgive them for everything they did to you and everything they didn’t do for you.

There are a lot of things in life that shouldn’t be asked for, and you don’t deserve to be with someone who makes you ask.

6. You finally feel the freedom to talk to someone new.

There was a time you couldn’t move on to someone else without feeling guilty, but now you learned to accept the kind words and the happiness he makes you feel because you realize that you deserve it.

It feels hard now, but things will get better. You’ll live through the days and you’ll survive the nights, and you’ll learn that life should be lived for yourself. Find the things and the people that are good for your soul, and stop denying the love that you always deserved to be given.