Signs That You're (Finally) Over Your Ex

Signs That You're (Finally) Over Your Ex

The days of crying and sobbing over your ex are no more, especially if you've noticed one of these signs that you're finally over him/her.
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Let's admit it. The break up felt like the worst possible thing to ever happen in the world. You never imagine heartbreak would hurt that bad. But it hit like a train going 200mph, and it felt like you'd never recover from the injuries.

Breaking down crying, waking up with an empty feeling in your chest, reaching for your phone waiting for a text or call, avoiding songs and places that held memories of you two, every ounce of suffering that was a part of the aftermath became routine.

But one day, did you realize that something was finally different? Somehow, your heart didn't hurt so bad, you found yourself crying less and less, you found yourself feeling like you were finally living again. And the crazy thing is, you probably didn't even realize it while it was happening.

So, here are some sure-fire signs you're finally over your ex, or at least getting there!

You hear a song that reminds you of them and you don't try to turn it off or start crying.

How many times have you heard a song that reminds you of your ex, and next thing you know, you're sobbing? I'll raise both of my hands up because I had some ugly crying going on when that used to happen. But now? I hear all the songs I used to cry to after the breakup and realize I can enjoy them again because I detached my ex from them. I mean, I'm literally listening to one of those songs right now, and guess what, no tears!

You go back somewhere you two shared a memory at, when post-breakup you were at first avoiding that place, and it doesn't make you upset to be there again.

I straight up avoided certain areas of my hometown when I came back there occasionally during college, and if I happened to go near those places, I'd immediately feel my chest sinking. But now, I can go back to all the places we'd adventure to, and I can enjoy them again without him.

You don't have much of their stuff anymore.

I did a LOT of purging of his things post-breakup, and now I think I don't have even maybe any of it anymore, or the things he'd once gotten me, and it's super freeing because not having those things around helped me move on.

You stop checking your phone, email, social media, etc. for a message from them.

Fortunately, my ex doesn't have any social media so I didn't ever try to check for those at first, but I remember post-breakup, I was checking my phone for calls or messages (even in the middle of the night sometimes) or my email, just waiting to see if he'd say anything to me. I will admit, on many occasions I couldn't stop myself from sending a message anyways, but now, it rarely crosses my mind to want to reach out or to see if he reached out to me. And let me tell you, it's a such a relief to not be so worried about getting a message from an ex.

You stop making choices thinking always thinking about "What if?" in regards to your ex.

For awhile, I made practically every single one of my decisions based on the whole idea of: What if he comes back? What if we date or become friends again? What if I do this, would he like it, just in case? etc etc etc. It took so much energy out of me always thinking this way, living my life not based on my own choices, but on wishful thinking that would only make me do stupid decisions I didn't even want to do. Now I do what I want, when I want, and how I want without thinking if my ex would approve if he were in my life again. And living for myself instead is, needless to say, radical.

You find your own interests and hobbies again, apart from them.

I had taken so many aspects of his interests and hobbies as my own, and I had to learn to recognize what I did and not like of those things, and what I did enjoy, I continued to let it be a part of me, and the other things, I let them go. Now, I can recognize what interests me, what sparks my creativity and fun, what I like to do on my downtime, basically, I learned to figure myself out, without my ex influencing me.

You stop constantly bringing them up or talking about them.

I had a HUGE problem with this at first, and I know my friends and family were sick of it. And it was like torture too. I'd always mention them to rant or reflect, and it simultaneously made me feel crappy or sad or angry or happy (just a range of emotions), and it didn't help me get over him any sooner. Now I rarely mention him, and if I do, it's detached from any feeling or meaning. Now I can worry and talk about other things, and my friends/family don't have to listen to me ramble on about the past.

You stop crying so often and that sinking/empty feeling in your chest fades away.

I cried almost every day for a long time when we broke up. And by crying, I mean sobbing, you know, big, ugly, loud tears. Slowly, that turned to a tear here and there, then one day I realized that it had been days then weeks and even months, that I hadn't cried over him. That I was happier and focusing more on my life than on him.

You can see romantic scenes in movies and not think about them anymore.

I used to get so angry and sad when I'd see cute couples in movies or TV, especially when they'd cute or do romantic/sexual things. Sometimes I wouldn't even finish the movie or show if it hit too close to home. Now, it doesn't phase me, and my ex doesn't pop into my head during romantic or couple moments.

You're hanging out with more of your friends than you did while you and your ex were dating.

I still hung out with a lot of my friends, fortunately, when my ex and I were together, and we'd also make time to hang out with his friends together. But this is an ode to my friends who abandoned me (or still have) and other friends of ours when dating. It's annoying, it's selfish, too. Bros before hoes, ya feel? At least, if your friend (or you) start to hang out again more often, they (or you) are probably over the ex.

When someone mentions their name, it doesn't make your heart race; you may not even notice they were mentioned.

I used to get really bad anxiety when I heard someone mention his name, mention something about him, or mention something about his friends, family, hobbies, etc. I would immediately feel upset because I wanted to still be a part of these things but I couldn't anymore, so when he was brought up, I'd lowkey freak out on the inside. Now, I have no attachment to his name or other aspects of his life, so if he gets brought up, I brush it off and don't think about it.

You find yourself crushing on someone else.

I will admit, I have a had a few decent crushes since long after we broke up, and I've attempted to pursue a few of those (but just by a bit, not too actively). But when you notice you're crushing on someone else, it's definitely a sign you're getting over, if you aren't already over, your ex.


Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.
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Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs.

In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm...

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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If You THINK You're Too Dependent On Your Boyfriend, You Probably Are

Depend on yourself before you depend on him.

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Don't get me wrong, having a boyfriend and being in love is an incredible feeling. But when you depend on your boyfriend for everything and forget how to do things on your own, it becomes a major problem. You might not see it but your family and friends do. Yes he's your boyfriend and of course, you want to spend every single second with him but you can't carry him around in the back of your pocket for the rest of your life. So here's to the girls who are too dependent on your boyfriends, I think you girls might want to hear this.

First and foremost, I completely understand what it's like to be in love and want to spend every second with your boyfriend. I get that he is one of your best friends, one of the people you can trust the most, one of the sources of your happiness, one of your stress relievers, one of the things that brings you comfort, one of the people you can rant to for anything, one of the people that you can cry to about anything, one of the people that you want to make memories with, one of the people that you want to spend the rest of your life with and so much more.

Did you notice I said one of, for all that? He is just one of the people you can go to for all of that, not the only one. You have friends and family who can do all of that too. And trust me, we want to. While yes you might prefer him to those other people, it's still important to keep your friends and family in the loop of what's going on in your life and it's even more important just to keep them in your life.

When you choose your boyfriend over your friends and family for everything, you're slowly pushing them out of your life. I, and everyone else who's been where I have been, completely understand if you already have plans with your boyfriend, or if something is going on you want to spend time with him. But to blow off your friends every single time for him is a slap in the face to us. Or to invite him to everything we do is another slap in the face. Of course as friends and family, we want to spend time with your boyfriend but it gets awkward third wheeling.

Go out with your family and friends without him sometimes and make tons of memories, as you did before. Rant and cry to friends and family sometimes instead, we care about you and your feelings, just as much as he does... maybe, even more, when you guys are fighting. When you don't talk to or see your friends and family without him there, you're pretty much telling us that you don't like being around us and that by bringing him, it makes it more bearable for you.

With that being said, you have to let him do the same. You have to let him have time for his family and friends without you. It looks super weird that you follow him around like a lost little puppy dog. Let him have time with the guys, without you being there or showing up at some point. To tag along to every little thing he does isn't healthy. Tagging along to everything thing your boyfriend does, probably makes his friends, a little uncomfortable, especially when they want their guy time and you're the only girl and they don't want you to feel awkward or left out. Or his family wants to spend time with just him and catch up.

Do things apart from each other, so when you are together you have stories to tell and pictures to show them.

Speaking of doing things apart from each other. Don't let an amazing opportunity slip away because you have to spend time away from your boyfriend. Did I leave my boyfriend to do the Disney College Program, hell yes I did. Am I going to apply again in August or maybe January? Hell yes, I am. Don't be afraid to explore things without him, even if it makes you uncomfortable, because you never know when you might get a great opportunity again.

Learning to do things alone is scary, I get it. But don't base your schedule around his, I've seen so many girls do this and it just back fries in the end. Unless you have kids, you do not plan your schedules around him or know where he is at every single second.

You never know, one day he might not be there anymore, and if you're always with your boyfriend and forgetting about friends and family, you might not have them either. And then what? Who do you depend on?

I wish you all would learn to depend on yourself before you depend completely on your boyfriend for everything. You are capable of so many things alone. You might feel like your boyfriend completes you and makes you whole, but in reality, you were already complete without him. He's just an added bonus. Don't give up your friends, family, and life because you want to be attached at the hip. You might lose more than you gain by doing that.

This goes for couples who have been dating for all lengths of time. It could be six months or six years.

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