Let's admit it. The break up felt like the worst possible thing to ever happen in the world. You never imagine heartbreak would hurt that bad. But it hit like a train going 200mph, and it felt like you'd never recover from the injuries.
Breaking down crying, waking up with an empty feeling in your chest, reaching for your phone waiting for a text or call, avoiding songs and places that held memories of you two, every ounce of suffering that was a part of the aftermath became routine.
But one day, did you realize that something was finally different? Somehow, your heart didn't hurt so bad, you found yourself crying less and less, you found yourself feeling like you were finally living again. And the crazy thing is, you probably didn't even realize it while it was happening.
So, here are some sure-fire signs you're finally over your ex, or at least getting there!
You hear a song that reminds you of them and you don't try to turn it off or start crying.
How many times have you heard a song that reminds you of your ex, and next thing you know, you're sobbing? I'll raise both of my hands up because I had some ugly crying going on when that used to happen. But now? I hear all the songs I used to cry to after the breakup and realize I can enjoy them again because I detached my ex from them. I mean, I'm literally listening to one of those songs right now, and guess what, no tears!
You go back somewhere you two shared a memory at, when post-breakup you were at first avoiding that place, and it doesn't make you upset to be there again.
I straight up avoided certain areas of my hometown when I came back there occasionally during college, and if I happened to go near those places, I'd immediately feel my chest sinking. But now, I can go back to all the places we'd adventure to, and I can enjoy them again without him.
You don't have much of their stuff anymore.
I did a LOT of purging of his things post-breakup, and now I think I don't have even maybe any of it anymore, or the things he'd once gotten me, and it's super freeing because not having those things around helped me move on.
You stop checking your phone, email, social media, etc. for a message from them.
Fortunately, my ex doesn't have any social media so I didn't ever try to check for those at first, but I remember post-breakup, I was checking my phone for calls or messages (even in the middle of the night sometimes) or my email, just waiting to see if he'd say anything to me. I will admit, on many occasions I couldn't stop myself from sending a message anyways, but now, it rarely crosses my mind to want to reach out or to see if he reached out to me. And let me tell you, it's a such a relief to not be so worried about getting a message from an ex.
You stop making choices thinking always thinking about "What if?" in regards to your ex.
For awhile, I made practically every single one of my decisions based on the whole idea of: What if he comes back? What if we date or become friends again? What if I do this, would he like it, just in case? etc etc etc. It took so much energy out of me always thinking this way, living my life not based on my own choices, but on wishful thinking that would only make me do stupid decisions I didn't even want to do. Now I do what I want, when I want, and how I want without thinking if my ex would approve if he were in my life again. And living for myself instead is, needless to say, radical.
You find your own interests and hobbies again, apart from them.
I had taken so many aspects of his interests and hobbies as my own, and I had to learn to recognize what I did and not like of those things, and what I did enjoy, I continued to let it be a part of me, and the other things, I let them go. Now, I can recognize what interests me, what sparks my creativity and fun, what I like to do on my downtime, basically, I learned to figure myself out, without my ex influencing me.
You stop constantly bringing them up or talking about them.
I had a HUGE problem with this at first, and I know my friends and family were sick of it. And it was like torture too. I'd always mention them to rant or reflect, and it simultaneously made me feel crappy or sad or angry or happy (just a range of emotions), and it didn't help me get over him any sooner. Now I rarely mention him, and if I do, it's detached from any feeling or meaning. Now I can worry and talk about other things, and my friends/family don't have to listen to me ramble on about the past.
You stop crying so often and that sinking/empty feeling in your chest fades away.
I cried almost every day for a long time when we broke up. And by crying, I mean sobbing, you know, big, ugly, loud tears. Slowly, that turned to a tear here and there, then one day I realized that it had been days then weeks and even months, that I hadn't cried over him. That I was happier and focusing more on my life than on him.
You can see romantic scenes in movies and not think about them anymore.
I used to get so angry and sad when I'd see cute couples in movies or TV, especially when they'd cute or do romantic/sexual things. Sometimes I wouldn't even finish the movie or show if it hit too close to home. Now, it doesn't phase me, and my ex doesn't pop into my head during romantic or couple moments.
You're hanging out with more of your friends than you did while you and your ex were dating.
I still hung out with a lot of my friends, fortunately, when my ex and I were together, and we'd also make time to hang out with his friends together. But this is an ode to my friends who abandoned me (or still have) and other friends of ours when dating. It's annoying, it's selfish, too. Bros before hoes, ya feel? At least, if your friend (or you) start to hang out again more often, they (or you) are probably over the ex.
When someone mentions their name, it doesn't make your heart race; you may not even notice they were mentioned.
I used to get really bad anxiety when I heard someone mention his name, mention something about him, or mention something about his friends, family, hobbies, etc. I would immediately feel upset because I wanted to still be a part of these things but I couldn't anymore, so when he was brought up, I'd lowkey freak out on the inside. Now, I have no attachment to his name or other aspects of his life, so if he gets brought up, I brush it off and don't think about it.
You find yourself crushing on someone else.
I will admit, I have a had a few decent crushes since long after we broke up, and I've attempted to pursue a few of those (but just by a bit, not too actively). But when you notice you're crushing on someone else, it's definitely a sign you're getting over, if you aren't already over, your ex.