Can someone please cue Randy Newman’s “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” right now? Thanks.
If there’s one thing I love about that song, it’s that it expresses the simple joy that can be experienced by finding someone to rely on and that relies on you. That person can be someone of the same sex or the opposite. I personally don’t think it matters because I feel that good friends can come in all different shapes, sizes, and sexes. Now, of course, every friendship is different. But after many discussions with some friends of mine, we’ve discovered some undeniable truths that define opposite-sex friendships. Read on if you’d like to enjoy the realizations we have made.
1. Hilarious sex stories and play-by-plays are expected.
When you’re attracted to the opposite sex and find yourself an opposite-sex best friend, you may consider yourself lucky for essentially finding a window into the mind of the sex that you favor. I can always appreciate when my guy friends tell me hilarious or embarrassing things that have occurred to them in the bedroom. Those stories provide me the chances to take mental notes of dos and don’ts when behind closed doors. For example, a do is to take confidence in your body, because odds are you are criticizing your naked-self way more than the guy that wants to bed you in that moment. A don’t is do NOT just assume all guys like to perform certain acts. It can make for awkward realizations.
2. Brutally honest advice when necessary.
Let’s be honest with ourselves. In our society, woman may have a tendency to overthink and men may be deemed insensitive. So if you’re trying to gain insight into your potentially damaging behaviors that you conduct when engaging with the opposite sex, you know to take advantage of your opposite-sex best friend. They’ll tell you how it is. I can always trust my guy friends to tell me when I need to just shut my brain off and chill when I’m talking to some guy I like. They can always trust me to tell them when they completely deserve a woman going off on them, or when they need to run. Odds are I understand girls more than they do. So I know that new chick my guy friend may be talking to is a real looker, but on the crazy-hot scale she falls into the danger zone. As a good friend, I have no problem telling him I recognize her kind and that he needs to move on.
3. Realizing your own sex may be more critical of you than the opposite sex.
Unfortunately, people often feel the societal pressure to fit the stereotypical images that correspond with their sex. To avoid the pressure, inadvertent judgment and competition some people turn to their opposite sex friends. Those friends allow them to feel more comfortable establishing their own identities apart from the expectations their same gender friends may be more aware of. Opposite sex platonic friends may allow us to lower an emotional drawbridge. For example, I’ve had many guy friends tell me it’s easier for them to be sensitive with a girl as opposed to another male. The reasoning is that they don’t feel as if their masculinity is being compromised when being emotional around girls because they know girls to be more nurturing.
4. You gain respect and understanding for the struggles of the opposite sex.
You can empathize all you want, but you’ll never truly know what it’s like to live as another person. It’s hard to understand the societal pressures and challenges another sex may face. And if you’re trying to navigate the dating world as a person who is attracted to the opposite sex, you probably already found yourself seeking insight from your opposite-sex friend(s). Odds are they can relate to the person you’re attracted to in ways that you cannot. They can remind you of typical behaviors to look out for, how to communicate more efficiently, and how to refrain from generalizing the person you are talking to.
5. You’re either the victim of stolen clothes or the thief.
This one is self-explanatory, as well as an open apology. Men tend to be larger than women, so on behalf of all women, I’m sorry fellas. Once you agree to be my friend you are automatically forfeiting ownership of your hoodies, sweatpants, and t-shirts. What can I say? Girls, love baggy sh*t and pockets. Especially when they can get the clothes for free.
I would say I’m sorry again…but I’m not quite sure I feel that bad… Just know that your clothing is much appreciated, guys.
6. You realize everything is too stigmatized.
You easily get annoyed when people automatically deem your relationship with your opposite-sex best friend as anything but platonic. Yeah, sure. Friends can fall for each other, and feelings aren’t always reciprocated. But that’s no reason to avoid opposite-sex friendships. Healthy, non-romantic, friendships can brew from such relations, and many benefits come along with befriending someone that is different than you. There may be anatomical and psychology differences, but that doesn’t mean that the two sexes can’t relate to one another.
At the end of the day we are all people, we all have issues and different world views, and embarrassing stories. Share those problems and insights with people that seem to be your complete opposite. Surely, you’ll learn something new about that person and their sex. You may learn a thing or two about yourself as well.
