Sex education sucks.

Not in the sense that it's boring and disgusting; I know we all thought that when they projected penises with STDs in health class. But that our knowledge of it is piss poor. You think you know it all? You'd be surprised how many people go into their 20's still believing some of the things below.

1. Pulling out works!

Just stop right there. Don't lie to yourself; your man does not have "good timing." You angle yourself slightly to the left and next thing you know you look like a Twinky. Just the truth.

2. Shower sex is erotic

There's no room. We're sliding everywhere and I don't have anything to hold my balance with. Speaking of showers, this leads to my next one..

3. Water = Lube

NOOO. Water actually dries out the area more! And a public service announcement: do not use soaps/shampoos for intercourse to make things "more slippery" as you can make yourself prone to infection!

4. Trying new things is easy

Fun? Sure..after you get the kinks out. (pun intended) But seriously, you might find yourself wondering why this is going so horribly wrong when it looked good in that one porn video you watched.

5. Sex takes FOREVER

For heterosexual intercourse, you're only looking at a time slot of about 10 minutes. That's not even an entire segment of a Spongebob episode.

6. Changing positions is flawless

You'll probably end up looking like you're doing some crab walk type of motion. Or just laying there in defeat because let's be honest, this is the only kind of exercise you get.