At the beginning of my freshman year of college, I found myself fresh out of a two-and-a-half year relationship. The first couple of months after the breakup were rough. I was torn up about whether or not I had made the right decision. I was confused about what my future plans were going to be now. I was having waves of jealousy from stalking his social media. But as it is said, time heals all wounds. After six months of being newly single again, these are six things I have learned.
1. How to mingle
Learning how to mingle was crucial not only because I was recently single but also because I was a freshman at a new campus. There were so many new people to meet, and socializing single is just easier. You don't have to worry about checking in with another person or feel guilty for checking out all the new faces. You can feel comfortable to get to know whoever you want.
2. How to be independent
After being with another person for so long, identities start to merge. You are known as a couple rather than just yourself. So it is important to rediscover your sole identity. I have learned to do things for myself, I am discovering new things that I like, and I am finding out who I am despite what anyone thinks.
3. How to focus on other relationships
Take this time of singleness to pour into other relationships: invite your parents out to lunch, go to a movie with your siblings, take your friends on coffee dates. In the last six months, I have grown so much in love, built more friendships, and just experienced life with other people.
4. How to invest time in myself
After relying on someone else to love me for so long, it was time to love myself again. I began spending time alone; it was basically like I started dating myself, and it has been fun. I have been finding out my passions, trying new hobbies, and learning to love me before investing in another relationship again.
5. How to not fear being alone
My biggest fear used to be that I would end up alone. I was afraid that I would never have a wedding and never be a wife and never grow old with the love of my life. I used to fear this. But now I am secure with myself. I know that whatever is in God's plan is what I will make the most of. Sometimes singleness is a harsh reality to face, especially when you desperately want a relationship. But I have found that it is important to find confidence and love in myself before I try to find security in anyone else.
6. How being single kind of rocks
I won't lie, being single is fun. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and I don't need anyone else's approval. I don't have to worry about anyone else but me, and I am enjoying the freedom while it lasts.
