I've always been independent. I am comfortable going to the bathroom alone and paying for my own meals. Independence is fantastic, but still, I am also constantly craving the company of others. One of the best feelings in the world is being wrapped in the arms of someone who cares about you, who loves you, and who wants the best for you. Since I first began dating and experienced this, I've never wanted to give that feeling up. Until this past year, the longest that I had been single between relationships was three months. I spent the majority of my high school career in a relationship, but the new experience of college came along with a new adventure in single life. And it has been the best year of my life.
Don't get me wrong, at the end of the day, we all want someone to kiss us good night, tell us we're beautiful in sweatpants, and experience life with. But I have other people for that (except they usually just tell me good night). I still receive plenty of love from my friends and family.
I have embraced being single with open arms. I can sprawl out in my bed, my bank account has three digits (which is a huge accomplishment for a college student), I don't have someone to answer to when I go out, and I have never had to awkwardly ask my roommates if my boyfriend could stay the night.
Most importantly, I rediscovered myself. It's one of the oldest cliches, and I never used to believe in it. But now that I've figured this out for myself, I would also challenge every young person who has been in a long-term relationship, or who has jumped from relationship to relationship, to take a breather. If you find yourself not doing certain things because your S.O. wouldn't like it, if you find yourself wondering what it would be like to be with someone else, or if you are unhappy for no reason, take time to yourself. Figure yourself out and find what makes you happy without having to worry about someone else.
Embrace every moment. Eat three slices of pizza at 3 a.m. and regret it the next morning. Act like a lunatic in public. Start working out, give up, and start again. Form unbreakable friendships. Work hard. Get swept up in a whirlwind romance, fall in love with your best friend, get screw over by that jerk, and lust after a stranger. You have to welcome every success and failure, and you need to experience all kinds of love before you settle down.
To love someone with everything you have, you must be happy with who you are first. You don't have to know what you want to do with the rest of your life, but you should know what interests you and what kind of person that you want to be. You should be confident in your body and mind without reassurance that you are beautiful or intelligent from someone else.
In my year of being single, I left my hometown and met amazing people who I might not have if I was dating someone. I didn't stress out about balancing a boyfriend, friends, family, work, school, and anything else I might want to do. I watched the TV shows and movies that I wanted to. I fought off the freshman fifteen, and I actually lost ten pounds. I fell in love with writing again. I bought cute clothes for myself and no one else. I can switch from scream-o to country to rap without anyone judging my music choice. I was able to remember the kind of love that I deserve. And I will not settle for less.
