Hookup culture is a tricky one.
At the end of the day, one person typically wants something more than the other. But out of fear of changing the dynamic (or in case things with a new person don't pan out), they often don't voice it. If you're on the other side of this coin and want things to remain casual, don't worry, you're not alone. After finding out my FWB started dating someone, I've come to find there are six stages of grief in this situation. But rest assured, it's definitely not as tragic as a breakup.
1. Initial Shock
So you just found out your hookup’s in a relationship, huh? I feel you. I hope for your sake that they told you rather than make you pry it out of them after they ghosted you for a couple weeks (hahaha @ my life). A simple text back sharing the news would’ve sufficed, you know.
2. Utter Disbelief
That brings me to stage 2. Now that you know ~what you know~ you’re trying to digest the information… and it may or may not be going so well. You’re starting to question when, how, and why this happened. You guys were fine just a couple of weeks ago, and suddenly they’re dating someone else? Tragic. Unbelievable.
3. Bitterness Towards Him/Her
I think this is my favorite stage. This is the [insert any and all insults you can think of here] part. That thing they did 3 months ago? Let it affect you again. That time they left you on read? What a b*tch. They never deserved you anyway. This stage is for all the petty complaints you can think of and any pent-up anger you never got a chance to share. Spend time in this stage. You deserve it.
4. Comparison With The New Bae
Now that you realize your FWB and their new bae won’t be breaking up any time soon, you’ve moved on to the comparison stage. You already know to peep new bae's ‘gram, stalk their Facebook, and text all of your friends to gossip. Once you’ve wasted about an hour of your life (or more, no shame) doing that, you’re ready to move on to stage 5.
Stage 5 is when you grow the f*ck up and realize it’s not the end of the world now that your old hookup has a new bae. In fact, you might even be happy for them. Plus, that doesn’t mean you guys can’t still be friends (in some rarer occasions). If you’ve made it this far, then congratulations, you’re ready to move on to the final stage.
6. Post-Acceptance Tragedy
Then it hits you: sh*t, you need to find someone to replace your hookup! And let’s be real, this is truly the only reason you were so upset about them getting cuffed in the first place! Do you know how much effort goes into finding a new consistent FWB? Ugh. You spend months, or even years(!) casually sleeping with the person and they go and let you down one last time. What a joke *major eye roll*.
All jokes aside, while this may be an annoyance right now, ultimately you know it’s for the best. Don’t harp on this loss. Instead, go get yourself a new FWB (or maybe even a new bae)!
And to the boy who inspired this article, I’m wishing you the best in this new chapter of life. Don’t f*ck it up!