6 Reasons Why Focusing On Yourself Is The Most Important Thing Of All

6 Reasons Why Focusing On Yourself Is The Most Important Thing Of All

Because sometimes you have to put yourself first.
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Often times in my life, I find myself putting more importance on other people and things rather than myself. The truth is, you are important. Focusing on yourself is important. Making sure you are happy and taken care of is important. Don't believe me? Here are some reasons why:

1. Focusing on others can keep you from accomplishing your goals.

We all have goals we want to accomplish in our life, but putting others needs in front of ours all the time can most definitely impact this. Relationships with other people are important, especially for me, but there has to be balance. If you don't put yourself first at least some of the time, your goals and aspirations can get lost in the madness of life. Keep those aspirations alive. You've got this! Make them happen!

2. Being single is FUN!

My single years have been some of the best years of my life. You know why? Because you don't need to worry about anyone else. You can just do your own thing and have fun with it! So get out there and do you!

3. You can finally have the time to figure things out.

I feel very frazzled and displaced without having my time every week to sit down and figure things out. This can mean anything. For me, it's my meal prep for the week, writing my articles, completing homework, or maybe even watching my favorite TV show just to wind down. You can also use this time to pay bills or budget for the month, just so you feel a little more put together than you felt before.

4. You can keep your emotions in-check.

Emotional stability is so important. Focusing on yourself and doing something for you can greatly increase your emotional stability. This can really be anything as long as it is something that winds you down or relaxes you. Even if it's taking five minutes at work to breathe, it will help you get through the rest of the day.


5. Focusing on you actually improves your relationships with others.

It's true! The more confident and respectful you feel about yourself, the more that is going to radiate off of you onto others. Your friends and family will see this, and in turn will respond positively. It's true what they say...you have to love yourself before you can love others.


6. You will find happiness.

It may seem like a long shot to you, but I promise it works. Spending time with yourself will help you discover things you never knew. Maybe you actually enjoy reading, but you have never just read for fun so you didn't know. For me, it was writing. I take time every day I can to just write. This helps me expel my feelings and move on with my life. I find myself to be happier every day, and you can too!

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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I Ghosted My Old Self For 5 Months In An Effort To Reevaluate My Life

My life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

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BREAKING (not fake) NEWS: It's true, you have to hit your lowest before hitting your highest.

I want to share my lowest with you, and I'm almost ashamed to say it had nothing to do with the loss of both of my parents. I like to think I handled that like a warrior.

Turns out I didn't, and the hurt I've been burying from that hit me all at once, the same moment my life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

My life flipped upside down overnight back in August. I had my heart broken shattered, lost two very important friendships that I thought were with me until the end, lost my 9-5 job, my health took a hit stronger than a boulder, and I was absolutely lost. For the first time, ever, I let go of the reigns on my own life. I had no idea how to handle myself, how to make anyone around me happy, how to get out of bed or how to even begin the process of trying to process what the f*ck just happened. I was terrified.

Coming from the girl who never encountered a dilemma she couldn't fix instantaneously, on her own, with no emotional burden. I was checked out from making my life better. So I didn't try. I didn't even think about thinking about trying.

The only relatively understandable way I could think to deal with anything was to not deal with anything. And that's exactly what I did. And it was f*cking amazing.

I went into hiding for a week, then went on a week getaway with my family, regained that feeling of being loved unconditionally, and realized that's all I need. They are all I need. Friends? Nah. Family. Only. Always.

On that vacation, I got a call from the school district that they wanted me in for an interview the day I come home. It was for a position that entailed every single class, combined, that I took in my college career. It was a career that I had just gotten my degree for three months before.

I came home and saw my doctor and got a health plan in order. I was immediately thrown into the month-long hiring process for work. I made it a point to make sunset every single night, alone, to make sure I was mentally caught up and in-check at the same exact speed that my life was turning. I was not about to lose my control again. Not ever.

Since August, I have spent more time with family than ever. I've read over 10 new books, I've discovered so much new music, I went on some of my best, the worst and funniest first dates, I made true, loyal friends that cause me zero stress while completely drowning me in overwhelming amounts of love and support, I got back into yoga, and I started that job and damn near fell more in love with it than I ever was for the guy I lost over the summer.

But most importantly, I changed my mindset. I promised myself to not say a single sentence that has a negative tone to it. I promised myself to think three times before engaging in any type of personal conversation. I promised myself to wake up in a good mood every damn day because I'm alive and that is the only factor I should need to be happy.

Take it from a girl who knew her words were weapons and used them frequently before deciding to turn every aspect of her life into positivity — even in the midst of losing one of my closest family members. I have been told multiple times, by people so dear to me that I'm "glowing." You know what I said back? F*ck yes I am, and I deserve to.

I am so happy with myself and it has nothing to do with the things around me. It's so much deeper than that, and I'm beaming with pride. Of myself. For myself.

I want to leave you with these thoughts that those people who have hurt me, left me, and loved me through these last couple of months have taught me

Growth is sometimes a lonely process.
Some things go too deep to ever be forgotten.
You need to give yourself the permission to be happy right now.
You outgrow people you thought you couldn't live without, and you're not the one to blame for that. You're growing.
Sometimes it takes your break down to reach your breakthrough.

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

My god, it's so f*cking good.

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If You Don't Prioritize Yourself, 2019 Won't Be Your Year

You should always put yourself first and don't let anyone tell you different.

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Every year starts out the same. Everyone adopts the "new year, new me" mantra, applying it to their everyday life, whether in a large aspect or a small one. Some people might stick to their goals, while others fall short and revert back to old habits (which is the category I tend to find myself under). Whether you stick to your goals or don't, something you need to ensure you always do no matter what is to put yourself first, or 2019 will be a disappointment.

You are your own worst enemy, so by putting others before you, you're only injuring yourself. Yes, I know it feels good when you do something great for someone else, but it doesn't feel so great when you're not being reciprocated for anything you have done. We don't do things expecting rewards, but if you're constantly loaning friends money when they don't have enough, whose bank account is really suffering? Evidentally not theirs if they're never spotting you or paying you back, yet can afford to constantly buy things. Prioritize yourself when you feel you're being taken advantage of and speak up, whether it's a situation like this one or something entirely different.

If you never put yourself first how do you expect to ever be truly happy? You are the one who controls your fate, if you want to subject yourself to ensuring the happiness of others before yourself, then that is your downfall. You need to make sure you are happy before you decide to help others find their happiness. You also cannot meet anyone to date that is worth your while until you're truly happy in your own skin.

Self-love is super important and it's really been stressed in recent years. Falling in love with yourself is the key to a happier, healthier life. I have never put myself first up until recently and was sabotaging my own happiness at the expense of others, who I thought would make me happy when they did the opposite. I tend to be too harsh on myself and how I look and act, but that is coming to an end this year. Before I do anything, I will stop and think about its effect on me before anyone else. If it doesn't benefit me whatsoever, I'm out. Unless of course, it's charity work or something along those lines.

Once you prioritize yourself, you'll notice your life begin to change for the positive. Cut out negative people who make you feel belittled and do not let them hurt you any longer. Update your wardrobe and spoil yourself. Buy those cute sneakers you've been eyeing or that new palette you've had in your shopping cart on Ulta. Whatever it is, don't forget to spoil yourself every now and then. Go see sunsets, go out for breakfast, meditate, or journal, but please please do what makes you happy no matter what it is.

2019 can very well be your year once you prioritize yourself. Even if you don't go to the gym every day like you want to, or can't give up going to Dunkin every day, as long as you put yourself first, everything will be the best it can possibly be.

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