My mom was a total control freak of my young life. Our fights ranged from positively absurd requests to mini conflicts of our opposing fashion interests. Like any other teenage girl, many a night was spent in arguments like, "Mooommm, you're ruining my liiiffeee," followed by a grounding or laugh in the face. Even still, we rarely see eye-to-eye in terms of fashion and culture. That being said, I will always take the time to listen to my mother. Here are some reasons you should, too.
1. She's been in the game longer than I have.
Teenagers and young adults often believe they are invincible. They act impulsively, at times immaturely and selfishly. I have been guilty of this, often without foresight to predict my consequences. My poor choices could have been prevented had I only listened to Mom, who's been there and done that more often than I can ever comprehend.
2. Mom actually wants what's best for me.
Few people in this world will love you unconditionally. Mothers are a rare breed, and for that I am grateful. She has dedicated her life to making mine better. Regardless if I agree or disagree with her decision, I always try to remind myself of her purpose in the argument: to better my circumstances.
3. She's brutally honest (when no one else is).
My mom was never one to take my side in disputes with my friends. She liked to play devil's advocate, ask me what fault in the drama was mine. I learned the most about being a friend from the person who wasn't afraid to tell me when I was being a bad one.
If my foundation was too dark or my haircut sloppy, she told me. My mother alerts me of the questionable choices I make, when everyone else is too afraid to upset me with the truth. Sure, I may take a temporary hit, but nine times out of 10, I'm grateful I didn't wind up looking like a fool pursuing my own, naive course of action.
4. She's never been wrong before.
It's true, what they say about mother's intuition. It never (rarely) fails. Every boyfriend I tried to defend wound up being as lazy, hurtful or selfish as she warned me they would be. Each time I have listened to my mother's predictions, especially regarding the people I associate with, she has been right.
Sure, we disagree on some things and that's okay. I have graduated from teenager, desperate for mom's approval, to young adult, making conscious and well-informed decisions. Mom's feedback on my political stance and career choices may never change my mind; however, I need to know first what her gut instinct is. It helps shape my delivery, if not my intended action.
5. She needs to feel needed.
All mothers need to feel appreciated and relied upon. I have grown up, and no longer need my mother for the same basic needs I had as a child. However, she needs to know that while I am getting married and beginning my own family, I will never outgrow my mom. If sending her a picture of my latest dress-capade and asking for her opinion is necessary for that mother-daughter relationship boost, I will ask. I may never listen (Mom, when are you going to learn flannel is trendy, not hobo-ish?), but she's been involved in the process, and that is all she cares about.
