One of the things everyone hears at the beginning of every new year is that it is time to grow--time to build the best "you" you can become, and time to get rid of the things that were dragging you down in years past.
Often, these drag-down factors are toxic people: the people we keep around, to everyone's confusion, despite how negatively they may affect us.
No matter how hard we try, sometimes we just can't leave these people in the past... but 2017 is the year of new beginnings, right? (Well duh, every year is...but this time we're serious.)
It's never easy, but as with any "recovery," the first step is admitting to yourself that people may be causing you more pain than goodness... and once you realize that you're in a toxic relationship, you're set on your way to leave them in the past.
Here are 6 Reasons You Can't Leave Toxic People:
1. You’re afraid to be alone.
Being alone is scary, and the thought of it terrifies you. You know that being in this relationship isn't what's best for you, but it seems so much better than the alternative... loneliness. Being alone isn't easier than being in a toxic relationship by any means, but rather than chipping at your self worth, you spend time with yourself, and build an image of yourself based on your own definition. This year, you're going to learn to love yourself; once that happens, being alone won't seem quite as lonely.
2. You’re afraid to see them move on.
It's one thing for you to move on, and it's a completely different thing to see them move on without you. You feel like if you stick around, they will too, and you won't have to bear watching them grow without you. Rather than thinking of them moving on, think of your own future-- happy, new relationships, fun and outgoing friends, new and knowledgeable acquaintances... think of how much you will grow and blossom! With this new growth, you'll be too busy to even notice where they are going.
3. You’re too comfortable.
The kryptonite for so many, comfort can be a great thing and a terrifying thing all at once. So often you find yourself thinking about how much everything will change once you move on, and that scares you. You like having something familiar, something common, and something "normal," and anything else seems harsh and cold. But if there is one thing that is detrimental to success, it is comfort. Think of all the ways you will be challenged, changed, and pushed to grow! It might not be easy at first, but the maturity and change will be so worth it in the end.
4. You have insecurities.
5. You’re afraid to feel pain.
It's human nature to run from things that will hurt us, or things that will cause us suffering, so you avoid ending these relationships because you know it will hurt. And you're right--it will hurt. But it's a temporary pain that will dissolve over time, and so many more doors of comfort and reassurance will open if you make room for them.
6. You’re afraid to start over.
(This is the biggie.) Starting over sucks, and we all know it. Once you've built something, its daunting and frustrating to build it right back up from the ground. But what better time for you to start over than when the year has literally hit the "restart" button? Don't be afraid of starting over, and don't be afraid of new things and new experiences. By ending one relationship and building back up from the start, you have the ability to be the best you that you can possibly be, and you have so many learned experiences that will grow you and make these new relationships so much better than the toxic ones you'll be leaving behind.
The biggest thing going into the new year is knowing that it's never the end, and it's never too late. If you don't have the courage to move on yet, that's okay. Eventually you will.
Cheers to a year of being the best YOU you can possibly be, and breaking off whatever might be bringing you down.
Trust me- life is so much easier when the only direction you are moving is forward.
