It's that time again. The time when the pits of hell open up and the demons called "homework," "essay," and "tests" fly at you relentlessly. 

Most doctors will tell you the best cures are meditation, exercise, plenty of water, blah blah blah. But do these methods really make anyone feel better?

Forget the docs, these are the real ways to overcome that first-week-of-school stress:

1. Nap. Nothing makes me feel better than putting off my responsibilities even further by taking part in a 4-hour nap. Just sayin'. Waking up midday and panicking when your paper is due in 30 minutes is always better when you've got some drool on your pillow. 

2. Eat. Is it really necessary for me to expand on this? I could be healthy and functioning and have a nice salad, but in all honesty, I'll take a Nutella coma over that any day. 

3. Wine. Nope, really don't need to expand on this one.

4. Cry. While this approach may be a little difficult for my male audience, trust me. Nothing eases a minor panic attack like a good old nose-dripping, back-heaving, ugly cry. 

5. Netflix. This is the go-to. The one above all. Drown your sorrows and stress in some crappy horror films and One Tree Hill. Just do it. Before you know it, three hours have gone by, and you've immersed yourself in a completely unrealistic and unattainable character that you will never compare to. It's magic. 

6. Call Mom. Now you've called in the troops. When all else fails, dear mum can help you. Always. She's the one person to call when you need a good ol' fashioned pep talk at the end of the day, so what can it hurt?

While these tactics may not seem so useful, we all know we'll use them anyway. Just accept defeat and move on with your stress-free lives.