After Starbucks launched their highly sought after “ Unicorn Frappuccino,” the drink had so much buzz that stores around the country sold out of it the same day it was unveiled. As an almost-three-year Starbucks barista, I had the great luxury of making many of the Unicorn concoctions, and the even greater luxury of telling hoards of disappointed customers that we could no longer make it, because we ran out of the “pink powder” that gave the drink its unnaturally bright color. Since you can no longer get the frap, as it has both sold out due to high demand, and has stopped being offered by the chain, I’m offering you a few of my top barista picks.
1. Black Coffee
This one is a total winner. It’s cheap! It’s quick! It has a lot of caffeine! Your grandpa probably drinks the same thing!
2. Ice Water
Yeah, the Unicorn Frap is a little more colorful than your average ice water, and sure, it doesn’t look as cute on your Instagram feed, but think about all the benefits! Water is pretty much the basis of life, and it’s super important to stay hydrated! Plus, it’s free! Overall, a much better deal than $6 of blended sugar that you would be getting just so you can post it on Snapchat.
3. Black Iced Coffee
Summer months have you feeling too toasty for a hot cup of coffee? Try a new spin on grandpa’s favorite drink and get your coffee iced! Still cheap, still strong, still won’t make you look like a six-year-old stuck in an adult body.
4. Iced Chai Tea Latte
Besides being one of the tastiest drinks on the menu, it’s also pretty much the easiest for your barista to make (aside from straight up coffee)! Every time you opt for an iced chai over a Frappuccino, your barista gets 14 days added onto their life!
5. Did I mention Black Coffee?
I think I might have, but I’ll throw it in again because it’s just that good. Bonus tip: ask your barista for room in your coffee, so that you can add the milk yourself! If you put the milk in your coffee by yourself, you can add “Certified Barista” to your resume! Coffee and a resume builder? This one sounds like a winner.
6. Literally anything else on the menu (except those layered iced teas)
Any other drink on the menu! Not only does everything inside a Starbucks store — including the dirty sink water — taste better than the Unicorn-esque drink, your barista is probably judging you for ordering it! Actually, unless you’re under the age of 12, your barista is 150% judging you for even thinking about ordering it! Unwelcomed judgment, a drink that tastes like an expired Pixi Stick, and twice as much sugar as you’re supposed to have in an entire day? Yeah, you made the right choice with the black coffee.
