In honor of Brexit and the impending doom our nation is going to spiral into if a certain Republican nominee is elected president, it’s time to distract ourselves with far more exciting and quirky things. In honor of Britain’s decision to leave the European Union, enjoy a listicle that makes light out of the potential economic wreckage by chronicling some of the best British foods and drinks.
1. Fentiman’s sodas
Like most millennials, I do indeed judge a book (or soda bottle) by its cover. Fentiman’s combines the perfect level of aesthetically pleasing packaging with flavorful sodas and beverages. Boasting that their drinks are “botanically brewed,” one might expect them to taste like the Boston harbor post tea party (the year was 1773). The sodas and other beverages that feature drinks like “Curiosity Cola,” and Rose Lemonade are a delightful deviation from the ultra-sweet American sodas we have grown accustomed to. Fentiman’s rose lemonade is the true elixir of life — an elixir we can only hope will breathe back life (and some sense) into our nation and others.
2. Cadbury Fruit and Nut Bar
It’s scientifically proven that raisins are only appealing when nestled between several dense layers of creamy chocolate. The Cadbury Fruit and Nut bar is proof that chocolate is winning the “having it all” game and that raisins have redeemed themselves from their unappealing past. The chocolate bar has a delightful raisin and almond to chocolate ratio, which I am sure is devised by the finest statisticians in England.
3. Jaffa Cakes
Jaffa Cakes are spongey little biscuits covered in chocolate and filled with an orange jam-like center. Like England’s current state of affairs, this biscuit with smashing orange bits is mired in controversy. According to the always reliable Wikipedia, there has been debate over whether Jaffa Cakes should be considered cakes, or biscuits, which have a value added tax. Assessed on factors like size, texture and whether this snack food was eaten with a fork or hands, it was decided that Jaffa Cakes are indeed a cake and not a biscuit. Thank goodness the greatest debate of the century has been settled.
4. Maltesers
Essentially the British version of Whoppers, these tiny treats remind us that Britain and the United States are on par in terms of malted candy (and impending political turmoil). Light and crunchy, it would be blasphemous if I didn't say these were a guilt-free treat, even though I have no nutritional expertise or knowledge of this treat’s ingredients.
5. Flake
Named after Donald Trump and devised by British scientists and taste masters with the incredible ability to predict the future, Cadbury's chocolate Flake bar is just that: a chocolate flakey mess. It's the Nature Valley granola bar of chocolate in terms of mess, but it is nonetheless a wonderful candy and one of Cadbury's best.
6. Chocolate Hobnobs
What sounds like a British insult is actually just a chocolate covered biscuit. Hobnobs are the less interesting cousins of the Jaffa Cake dynasty and are designed for the perfect "biscuit dunking in tea" experience. Pair with a cup of English breakfast tea and a vote to leave the EU for an out of this world (or country, only literally) experience.
