I am a self-proclaimed theatre nerd with zero athletic talent. I recently went to a men’s basketball game. While there, I realized I know next to nothing about sports. In between asking probably a thousand questions about how basketball works, these are some of thoughts I had in my show-tune-singing head.
1. Oh, my gosh, they’re so tall.
No wonder they chose this sport.
2. Love their costumes. So sporty spice.
3. Wow, they’re also so attractive.
Why have I never watched sports before?The hot people all flock to the court.
4. Why do they all use those Gatorade water bottles?
Are regular water bottles not good enough?
5. I hope they use those rip-off sweat pants.
I want a pair for Christmas.They’re good enough for Magic Mike, they should be good enough for this team.
6. Wow -- this is exactly like “High School Musical.”
7. When will they break out into song?
8. GETCHYA GETCHYA HEAD IN THE GAME.
9. Yay! They scored a basket, woooooooo!
Oops -- that was the other team. Awkward.
10. I guess this is fun.
11. I’m just watching them run back and forth.
Everyone is clapping and I’m so confused.
12. I want to be a referee.
With great whistles, comes great responsibility.
13. And black and white is such a classy combo.
But that seems to involve a lot of running. And I only run when I’m being chased.
14. Yes! Halfway done! Intermission time...
Halftime. That’s totally what I meant.
15. Wow, those cheerleaders are surprisingly strong.
I could definitely never throw a human in the air.Look how high she just flew!
16. Those hurkies, though.
And I can’t even touch my toes.I need to get back to the gym.
17. Half time’s over.
Back to running around.
18. Where’d they come from?
19. Do you think they’d let me see backstage?
It’s called a locker room. Of course.
20. Why are there people in suits?
A little formal for sports. But, I guess coaches are important.
21. This is a long game.
22. OK, now I’m into it.
23. Four seconds left.
I’ve never been so nervous.