Recently an article from Mental Floss made its way across my newsfeed (http://mentalfloss.com/article/52108/7-tips-keepin...). It was all about tips for keeping your man in the 1950's. I understand that it was a different time, that there were different values, and that the women’s movement hadn’t come quite as far as it has today. What I can’t possibly understand is how the person who shared the article was praising these tips, and saying that we should go back to this. I find myself in utter disbelief that people agreed, and were commenting about how much better society would be if women just followed these rules. I couldn't bring myself to understand how they could belittle the actual point the author of the article was making. So to help you understand the absolute baffled state of mind I find myself in, let’s break these rules down.

Rule number 1: Stop talking

Basically, the gist of this rule is that a woman is there to listen to her husband’s complaints and issues, but not to bother him with her own. It claims that a woman’s problems are insignificant when compared to a man’s, and her job is to keep his ego bolstered. This rule also suggests that women are incapable of understanding things that could be of interest to a man, and that he will have to teach her about it so she can have a modicum of knowledge on a topic.

Nope, not going to work for me. Relationships are about balance and open communication. A woman talking to her husband about things that are bothering her is not her nagging him, it’s creating an open dialogue and respect. Communication allows you to value your partner, one side’s feelings are no more or less important than the others. It’s also past time to acknowledge that women are just as intelligent as men.

So really the first rule should be: Communication is Key!

Rule number 2: Bad cooking will drive your husband elsewhere

Essentially this rule says that a poorly kept home will drive a woman’s husband out of the home. It maintains that a woman’s responsibility it to do all the housework, mind the children, and make sure to always have dinner ready and waiting for when her husband wants it.

Clearly, I am out of luck then as I cannot cook to save my life. Also, I personally despise household tasks like vacuuming, taking out the trash, and washing dishes is a special sort of hell for me. Granted I’m a twenty-four-year-old woman, so I am capable of these things and I do them when I have to. However, in a committed or married relationship, these responsibilities should not fall to just one partner. It should be an equal division of labor. Nowadays more women are out in the workforce, holding full-time jobs, and to be expected to do that, AND be the primary caregiver, AND to keep the house clean, AND have dinner on the table, is just too much. It’s an insane and unfair burden for any woman to be expected to carry on her own. The best relationships require balance. Either a distribution of tasks, or if one partner chooses to stay home and take care of the children. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom or dad as long as there is a discussion behind it. No one should automatically be expected to take that role. That also does not excuse the partner who goes to work every day from maintaining an active role in keeping up the household. Being a stay at home parent is no easy task.

Therefore I believe this rule should be: Make sure that one partner is not carrying more of a burden than the other. Neither party should be expected to bear the majority of the load.

Rules number 3, 4, & 5: Be ready and willing when your husband wants to have sex, but be neither too adventurous or too prudish. Also, pink panties are a must.

These rules pretty much dictate how a woman should please her man. A woman should always want to have sex when her husband wants it. If she doesn't want sex, it could lead him to stray; and she would have no one to blame but herself.

It should not matter if you enjoy the act of sex or not, as long as your husband does not know you’re not enjoying it. Her pleasure has no value in whether or not he enjoys sex. However, if he actively knows you’re not enjoying it she can taint his experience. This will damage his ego which, as we’ve discussed, is a woman’s responsibility to maintain. However, the flipside is unacceptable as well. A woman should not overtly crave sex lest she become a “sexual vampire,” taking away her husband’s life force. Also, she should always be wearing spotless, pink (preferably lacey and frilly) underwear.

If a woman wants to be a lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets I’m pretty sure that’s her call. It is NEVER, I repeat NEVER, a woman’s responsibility to be ready and willing to go whenever her husband is. To be inclusive, it is also NEVER a man’s responsibility to be ready and willing to go when his wife is. Sex is something that should always be consented to. If you even suspect that your partner might be the slightest bit unwilling or unwanting: HIT THE BRAKES! This is not a complex idea, just because you’re married does not mean that your partner is always willing and desirous of sex. This goes back to communication, always communicate what you want in and out of the bedroom. No one should ever be pushed to do something that they are uncomfortable with, or they just don’t feel like doing at the time. Also, I’m sorry, but if the only thing that keeps a woman’s husband from straying is lacy pink underwear, I think they have bigger problems.

This rule should be: Respect your partner’s sexual desires, no one should ever feel obligated.

Rule number 6: So your man strayed, get over it.

This rule pretty much states that a woman will react to infidelity however her heart allows her to, but ultimately she should be ready to forgive her husband. Better yet, she should pretend she is ignorant of the infidelity as to not cause waves in their relationship.

It is not outlandish for either party in a relationship to expect monogamy. Infidelity is not something anyone just gets over. Couples can work through infidelity, but no one should shame either party into staying or leaving a relationship. Again communication is key. If you want to work through it with your partner, and you think it is something you can get past, then go for it. But there is also nothing wrong with deciding to leave that relationship and move on.

Really this rule should just be wiped out. It goes back to the first rule of communication. If there is something missing in your relationship you should talk with your partner, rather than try and seek it somewhere else.

Finally Rule Number 7: Your husband is in charge.

This rule flat out states that a woman’s husband is the boss of her, which is a divine right given by God. Any straying from that is going against what God wants.

Okay, with the potential to seriously offend some people I have to say that that is complete crap. No one is in charge of another person. No one gets to decide what someone else does. That’s not a relationship, it’s a dictatorship. To be in a healthy functioning relationship both sides should get their way. A woman should not constantly have to surrender what she wants in order to satisfy what her husband wants. One of the main tools of marriage is compromising. Make sure that both sides can either meet in the middle or that one gets their way this time and the next time it’s the others turn.

This rule should state that compromising is important. Neither party should be expected to constantly surrender to the desires of the other.

Most of these 50’s rules can be wiped out by one simple word: COMMUNICATION! That is really the key to success in any relationship. For me, I just really cannot understand how anyone would want to devalue another person, which is essentially what these original rules do. Even with the gender inequality that we still have, I am incredibly grateful to have grown up now, rather than the fifties.