Something we hear a lot nowadays is that millennials don't know how to do much. We can't change a tire, we don't know how to communicate, we don't understand that the world doesn't evolve around us,and God forbid we hold down a decent job, right?
Among these nasty stereotypes is the one with the presumption that we are unable to create and manage long-lasting, worthwhile, relationships. It is said that all we know how to do is swipe, swipe, swipe until we find some eye candy on our dating apps, we hook up with them, and then either continue to see each other to "live in sin", or never hear from each other again.
This notion is toxic at best.
It compares us to standards that are no longer in place. It refers to the standard that you are married quickly at a very young age, and you are with that person and only that person for the rest of your life. Nobody should have to make a life-changing decision so early in life. This is no longer relevant in our culture, so this is an unfair standard.
It assumes that every one of us aspires to marriage. More and more, people are accepting that spending the rest of their lives with one person is not what they want out of life. This is a personal decision that should not be scrutinized. Some people want purely sexual relationships (which, if between consenting adults, should not be shamed), and some are only comfortable in platonic relationships. We do not define ourselves by our relationships. When it comes to our love lives, personal happiness is key; societal happiness is not.
It is a hypocritical statement. If you want us to be so invested in finding the right person to spend the rest of our lives with, then what will we not have time for? We will not have time to invest ourselves in the careers you want us to have. This is a different rant for a different time, but basically: climbing the corporate ladder takes time, many career opportunities that were available years ago no longer exist, and, well, sometimes, things go wrong. We know that as well as you do.
Finally, the stereotype is simply untrue. Those who do aspire to romantic relationships do try. Boy, do they try. I see a lot of my friends going out and trying to meet people, but when they have a few minutes to themselves, I see them going the extra mile to swipe, swipe, swipe on their dating apps, longing for someone to love.
I, myself, happen to have the "traditional" relationship; a man and a woman who were high school sweethearts at 16. Still, the stereotype says that, being at different colleges, we should have made huge mistakes that triggers the downfall of our relation. No, naysayers. We, like the rest of the millennials, make it work.
