When I was in high school I had a large group of friends that I was very close with.
There was always someone to hang out with on the weekend, someone to talk to on the phone after school, and someone to eat lunch with. But we get older and friendships grow thin; we find that the common interests we once shared are not ones we still hold or ones worth holding a friendship together.
Time moves forward and you see it is an old friend's birthday.
You go to shoot them a quick happy birthday text and find that you haven't spoken to them since their birthday last year. It's an odd feeling transitioning away from people who once knew everything about you, people you would have thought might be in your wedding some day, people you thought you would count on for life.
But you keep moving forward. You don't forget these people, but you acknowledge that fond memories can't keep the strength of a friendship alive. You care for them from afar and wish them well in life.
You make new friends in your college classes, in your new jobs, clubs, or activities. These people start to shape you in a different way than your high school friends did. You go through the struggles of entering adulthood together. This bond is stronger than memories and shared interests, but it too is not guaranteed to last. People move, people change, people grow apart. This will keep happening in this way for the rest of your life.
Not to say you won't have any long-term friendships or friendships that are worth putting time, energy, and love into; but this is to say that you are the only constant in your own life and that's not sad or scary, it's dependable.
The idea of someone else being your "person", as coined by Meredith and Christina from Grey's Anatomy, is one that many people have found comfort in. This idea that you have this one person, a soul mate almost, that you can find in a friend, family member, or significant other who will always be by your side through thick and thin is a nice thought, but it just isn't realistic in most cases.
So be your own person. Put all of your trust in yourself. Be your own hero, count on yourself, and know that you are strong enough without putting all of your emotional recovery into the hands of someone else.
They say "it takes a village", but make sure you're the mayor of that village. We all need other people in our lives.
No one can be 100% independent and it's healthy to lean on your loved ones in times of trouble, but don't feel like you need to count on others all the time because if there is anything I have learned in my short journey through adulthood, it's that I am strong enough to be my own person, and if I can do it I promise you can too.
