I think about you all the time, my guardian angel. I think about the way you were taken away too early in life, I think about the way that cancer brutally murdered you, I think about that I still can no longer talk to you over Skype or play online games of pool with you. For the past five years, this is all I have been thinking about and more.

I never got to meet you in person, but I had known you since I was a little girl. I remember just learning how to use the computer and begging my mom to let me type; every single letter, and one letter at a time. I remember hearing you say "hello wee-one" and playing a couple games of pool on yahoo messenger. It was like you were always here, even though you were all the way in the U.K.

Even though I know you watch over me every day from Heaven, I cannot help but feel sad knowing how much of my life you've missed in just these short five years. On June 29th, 2011 you said goodbye to this world and went to heaven; just a mere week after I graduated from middle school and beginning a new chapter in my life.

I never imagined losing you at the time, I felt like you were immune to the possibility of dying at such a young age. But, looking back, you had aggressive cancer and it was determined to stay until its job was done. Yet, it has never changed how often I still think about you: everyday wish I could hear you speak or see you laugh just one more time.

The day before however, you gave me inspiration to write one of my favorite poems, if not my favorite. It went into my collection of poetry that got published, something that took place two years after you passed. Of all the ups, downs, good days, smiles, bad days, and frowns, there are definitely some events that were harder than others. The first took place just after you passed away.

I was promised a laptop if I got a good report card at the end of the year. That promise was kept, and I would have finally been able to Skype you with my own computer. However, the cancer beat me to you and I was never able to do so. The next one took place my sophomore year. I slowly lost a couple relationships and friendships that took place the first half of the year. But you never got to see the turnaround that took place in the rest of the year. Plus, I got confirmed and my driver's license and met the guy of my dreams.

Prom was also a big deal; you never got to see pictures of me in my dress and getting sent off to two of the best nights of my life junior and senior year. You never got to hear the news that I got accepted into my dream college and am pursuing my dream career goals. And finally, you never got to see me graduate high school. I know there will be more events that you will miss such as college graduation, marriage, etc., but these five years have been hard without you.

I miss you so much, but thank you for staying beside me in heaven these past five years.