Girls, when a boy comes up to you and says in a serious, anxious tone, “Hey, do you have a minute?” you best know what’s coming. This could apply with when a girl asks a boy, a boy asks a boy, a girl asks a girl, gender neutral asks gender fluid, and the list of possibilities go on and on. We all have been through it: the awkward encounter of when someone just out-of-the-blue asks you out with you having no recollection of them showing interest in you. It’s even worse when their timing is not in sync to the social setting.
Because of, well, my life, I have encountered probably the most cringe-worthy times, places, and even situations where timing has not been my friend. Fellow readers and humans of the virtual planet, I shall release the embarrassing details of my life’s failed attempts to romance in the form of this list of the worst times to be asked out:
1. At work: Okay that’s a given because you do not want to be that person that disturbs someone’s obligation of working when you’re the customer. It throws them off and disrupts their workflow especially for those working part-time (or even full-time) and simultaneously focusing on getting that B.A. She wants to be content and determined during her tiring shift in order to motivate herself during the most stressful and financially-challenging times of her life. She does not want to be that person that accuses you of video pranking her publicly — because that’s not a cool move, trust me.
2. A friend’s birthday party: Kind of odd, right? I mean you’re cordially invited to your girlfriend’s humble mansion to celebrate the anniversary of her life being given. So of course, you are going to be concentrating on celebrating her existence. So why are you asking one of her girlfriends to be your girlfriend? Dude, don’t go asking out your friend’s friend at her own birthday party. It’s disrespectful! If you were planning on asking her out there, at least do it inside of the warm and comfy mansion-palace instead of outside in the crisp cold April night — on the curb. That’s not romantic at all.
3. Through another friend: If you want to ask that girl out, you ask her, not your friend. That’s just awkward for every party involved. The pursuer, the messenger, and the receiver. It’s even worse when that friend has to literally drag you by gripping on your shirt collar and asking her out in front of you. Need I say more? Take a risk, ask the girl out! Girls want the pursuer to be confident in deciding to open up their feelings for you, don’t make that friend (future girlfriend to-be) your up-front wingman.
4. During a church sermon: Rather than praising the Lord Jesus and being thankful for everything God has given you (i.e. food, shelter, life), why not ask out that girl you have been “just friends” with and risk your already-existing platonic friendship whilst sitting next to each other at worship? You have real feelings for this girl and want to take it to the next level? Awesome, but please don’t ask her on church grounds. It’s already a tight-knit community as it is, word gets around rapidly, and adults will get up on your guys’ businesses. That is just a ball of awkward right there — in front of the wooden cross. “Love is patient” for a reason.
5. After a final exam: Oh yes, my personal favorite. Deciding that leaving a piece of scrap paper with the question “Will you be my girlfriend?” on her desk after a final exam would not be the ideal method of romancing another. In fact, it’s probably the worst of all situations. Granted that she may have had for sure bombed that final and was feeling awful about herself, any attempts to being romantic in an unromantic environment was not going to get her the feels. I’m sorry, but it isn’t. You’re probably a nice guy and an ideal boyfriend, but asking her out while her brain fried from reciting SOHCAHTOA is not going to get you anywhere. In fact, she probably forgot about it until two years later during a random flashback — while eating cereal for dinner.
It’s not to unveil any fault, really. More likely, it’s to ensure that everyone has been through the rough trials of awkward courting situations.
