The Free Store is, without a doubt, the icing on the 175-tier cake that is Hollins University. Or maybe that's Tinker Day. Or Ring Night. It's one of those, probably, but the Free Store is cool either way. Although most of the time there's nothing incredible down there, if you go often enough, you'll eventually find something pretty awesome (whoever took the pink hula hoop after Tinker Day this year, you're welcome). But it's mainly a place to get rid of stuff you don't want, and that shows in its selection of clothing and cheap trinkets. It's not like I'm complaining. It's a great thing to have on campus, and I've gotten some nice stuff from there. However, sometimes I'll come across hand-me-downs that are either dated or just kinda confusing. You can definitely see why these wouldn't sell on eBay.
1. The receipt printer
I mean, I think that's what this is? Part of me wants to take it for some reason, but I have no use for this thing, plus I'd probably need some kind of special receipt paper. It's kinda sad seeing it here, though. It clearly used to have a purpose. It was probably a good investment back in the 90s or early 2000s. Now it sits on a shelf under the chapel, obsolete.
2. The DDR pad
In elementary school, I thought this was the coolest idea for a game. I used to play it at my best friend's house and I was so jealous that she had it, but judging by the fact that I don't even remember what system the game was made for, as well as the My Scene doll silhouette in the middle, I don't think anyone plays this anymore, and since I'm a first-year I have no clue how long it's been down there. I don't even think they still have the 2-person version in arcades.
3. The ceramic boot
I'm guessing this was someone's art project. You'd think they'd be in a pair, but making something this detailed out of clay takes forever. Also, apparently it's for use in the kitchen.
4. The Duck Dynasty cup
I don't watch any reality TV, but I guess this show was pretty big for, like, two years. I guess it was about people who hunt ducks? Or sell duck merchandise? All I really know is the family lives in the Deep South and one of them got in trouble for being homophobic or racist, or maybe both. This has been in the Free Store all year (maybe longer), and I can understand why. I wouldn't be able to enjoy my lemonade with Phyllis from The Office staring at me with that vaguely judgmental smile that middle-aged white women seem to have mastered over the years.
5. The parrot
I have to admit, I don't find him so weird anymore. I even gave him a little backstory. He sits on his perch and guards the Free Store from thieves. He doesn't quite understand why that's not necessary, but he takes pride in this duty. Until he is taken in by a new companion, he's content to observe passersby and protect the chapel basement from intruders.
