In light of Valentine's day that's coming up in just a few days, I figured this would be a VERY appropriate time to write something that would easily relate to all you singles out there. We've all been here, where we've had someone we've taken an interest in, made the effort to get closer to, just to have them turn right around and curve you so hard, you hardly even know what happened.

Isn't that just the worst thing ever? I mean, you spend all this time getting to know this person, flirting like crazy, having all sorts of intellectual conversations, all the while, throwing yourself well out of your comfort zone; all that work, and THAT'S all that comes out of it? Seriously? You're left wondering what went wrong, if it was something you said in your last conversation that drove them away, or if, maybe, they were never interested in you in the first place and you've basically just been wasting your time.

This issue happened to one of my good friends recently. Out of respect for her privacy, I won't use her real name, so I'll call her Rose instead. Rose had this guy she really liked and was having all sorts of lengthy, fun, and deep conversations with him. This went on for a good while up until recently where he suddenly turns up with some new chick that Rose has never seen or heard of until that very instance. She was devastated. But not only that, she felt deceived. She legitimately thought he had a thing for her, which only intensified her own feelings. So naturally, upon her telling me all of this, my first response is to write this article and bring this issue to the general public, like any good friend would do.

For those of you that have shared Rose's dilemma before, this is for you. Here are five ways to tell the guy or girl you've been talking to isn't interested.

1. Texting Frequency

We all know this rule. The longer they message you, the more likely it is that they're into you. But there's also the rule about taking your time to respond back in order to give the illusion that you actually have interesting things to do with your life instead of just sitting around your room, waiting fervently for a response. And on top of THAT rule, there's the one about...well, you get the picture, there are a bunch of rules that involve messaging the person you like. But what happens if they never follow these rules too? What if you're always the one that wants to start the conversation? What if, they respond immediately to every message you send them, in spite of you waiting around ten minutes to respond to each of theirs? Or worse! What if the opposite happens? What if you send them a message and they simply never respond? This is the most confusing thing, because all of these possibilities could actually mean either one. They might not follow the same rules of texting as you, or maybe they really are super busy and can't make time to reply. These things also have to be considered before jumping to the conclusion that they don't like you. The only real way to tell if they do or don't like you is the content of the messages they DO send you.

2. Flirtation Genocide

Speaking of content, let's talk about flirting for a moment. I'll admit, it's great, and really fun to do, especially when in person--since you get to fully see how the intended target reacts to it--but when you're texting, or simply aren't very attuned to picking up on the effects of your efforts, it'll get a bit harder. Let's say that you've sent a really cheesy and flirty text and all they say in response to it is something like "Kay," or "Aww," or simply change the subject completely, not even acknowledging your attempt. Did you feel a hard tug in your gut just now after reading that scenario? I had several and I wrote the thing! Anyway, if this happens, that's usually a clear sign that they aren't very interested. This does NOT mean you need to go even heavier with the flirty texts, as that's more likely to scare your crush away forever than keep them interested.

3. Disses You For Their Friend

This one actually happens on both sides of the spectrum, in person and over the phone. It's ten times more painful in person, though! You're over at his/her house or dorm room, and are having a really good conversation on something. Maybe the crush was doing homework and you were trying to help them out with it, I don't know. The conversation turns into something else, a little bit of flirting is involved, and it all seems to be going great. Then the best friend comes in and it all goes to crap. You know already from past experiences that NOTHING romantic is going to happen now that this friend is here because of how demanding they are for your crush's attention. But still, you decide to stick it out, because in your mind, the friend will eventually leave, and it'll just be you and your crush. Well, that never happens. In fact, your crush actually is the one that decides to go off somewhere with that friend, leaving you all alone in their house/dorm room without a single word of goodbye or explanation. If something like this ever happens to you, your crush has not only lost interest, they don't even see you as a person.

4. Can't Keep a Conversation

Going back to things like phone conversations, if there's ever any point where either of you decide to up the ante and call one another, nine times out of ten, there's something there! But the thing about calling is that now, instead of carefully thinking out what you're going to say next, you have to think on the fly and pretty much respond immediately after your crush does. Usually, if you have decent chemistry with your crush, this still shouldn't be an issue. You get to actually hear their voice, which is always a plus, and they seem genuinely invested in everything you have to say and are ready to respond with something that'll only enhance the conversation.

That's how it SHOULD go, at least. But if you have a ton of things to say, while they just sit back and give half-hearted one-liners the entire time, it's either time for you to make the conversation about them, or just hang up. Now, if the situation is the former, then that isn't the main issue. What IS, however, is if they actually have nothing to contribute to the conversation and are just riding off of what you have to say. This'll lead to tons of awkward pauses in the conversation, which is something that NO ONE wants or needs! And it just tells you that they were never all that invested to begin with.

5. Complete Lack of Empathy

This one always gets me and Rose upset. If your crush invites you somewhere, like to some event/project that they put together and completely ignores you, that's when it's officially time to stop and move on. What gets us so riled up about this one is that usually, when you get invited to things like this, you're surrounded only by your crush's friends. And unless you're lucky enough to have a crush in the same friend group as you, this means that you're basically a loner for however long this event lasts. You don't know a single person, your crush keeps going on to talk to people, and it's just an awkward experience overall.

There's also the instance where you finally get on the subject of what they like and want in a significant other, and they say something so incredibly opposite of what you are, that it's honestly super depressing.

Another scenario, the ultimate nail in the coffin--for me, at least--of this would be if they simply stopped seeing and talking to you altogether, almost as though they were avoiding you. Rose and I both agree that when that happens, it's time to say goodbye.

All of these scenarios that I've listed have their ups and downs. Some have good reasons, while others are simply unforgivable. The sad truth is, though, if you or anyone else have gone through something like this, the best thing to do would probably be to move on. And you never know, maybe once you've done that, you'll come across someone that actually does care and wants to know more about you, and Valentine's day won't seem like such a hopeless holiday after all.